Fragile

Does anyone else see the irony in this package that was delivered to my house yesterday?

Fragile, yes. Was it handled with care? Hard to say.

It reminds me of a movie I saw part of while surfing channels. A woman was fleeing a domestic abuse situation and she was asking a police officer what to do. He suggested a restraining order. She asked, "What do I do with it if he comes around? Hit him with it?"

Just because there are instructions to be careful with something doesn't mean it will happen, does it? (Anyone have kids and glass coexisting in their house?) Just because we follow the rules doesn't mean bad things won't happen. Just because we ask someone to be gentle with our feelings doesn't mean they won't break our hearts. And just because we get in touch with our deepest longings or pain doesn't mean God will make everything happen immediately and the way we like it.

We may ask God consistently for children and doubt His goodness when, month after month, there's new evidence of Him saying "no". We may ask God for a spouse to show more affection or come to church with us, but nothing changes. We may come to terms with bitterness or pride or selfishness or anger and ask God to release us from it, only to have an awkward confrontation with someone and feel even worse.

Who failed? Did God let us down? Is He still trustworthy? Or has my discomfort compromised His goodness? Have I sacrificed His character to prove myself right?

God asked Job, "Would you discredit my justice? Would you condemn me to justify yourself?" (Job 40:8) It's what we do when we tell God what we want and become angry with Him when He doesn't come through or we get hurt. He promises to give us what we need; not everything we want. And He is good no matter what.

So we can put the "Fragile: Handle With Care" signs on our hearts and on our lives, but life happens. We may still have holes punched in our sides and get broken. But there is a Redeemer, and His grace is sufficient for us in all circumstances. Thanks be to God!

Matryoshkas

We had neighbors over for dinner last night and their little girl had fun playing with my Matryoshka dolls given to me by a friend several years ago. You may know them better as Russian nesting dolls or Babushka dolls. They are wooden painted dolls, hollow inside except for the last one, and they get smaller and smaller as you open them to reveal the next size. Ultimately there is a tiny little peanut of a doll hiding at the interior of all the dolls, painted as creatively and delicately as her larger counterparts.

My young friend and I entertained ourselves by hiding the littlest doll under one of the halves of the larger dolls and having the other guess her location, like a street scammer in New York City. We had several variations of the game: you only get three guesses (there were eight possible halves to choose from), you have to close your eyes while the other hides the doll, etc. Then the game turned into creative ways to stack the doll halves, all the while featuring the tiniest doll prominently in our display.

This got me thinking about some of the ways we play games with other people and with God in an effort to hide or highlight our truest selves. Sometimes we want to present ourselves as being bigger and stronger than we really are, concealing our weaknesses or vulnerable areas from others and presenting a decoy of ourselves, detracting attention from who we really are. At other times, we may creatively arrange our circumstances to put our best features in the most favorable light, in essence screaming, “Look at me! Look at me!”

It’s a challenge on one level to present a healthy version of ourselves to people we trust. It takes time and energy to determine which people in our lives are safe to be real with. That’s a good thing. Not everyone gets the most intimate access to my heart. But everyone deserves to see something real.

The ironic part of the game we play in life is that we think we can do it with God. The One who knit us together in our mother’s womb, knows the hairs on our heads, and discerns our thoughts and words before we even know them ourselves. (Psalm 139: 13, Matthew 10:30, Psalm 139:4) He may smile as we play the game sometimes, but He always knows the whereabouts of the most fragile and precious parts of ourselves that we think we can ignore or hide.

Sometimes I wonder if I even know that little peanut well enough to display it to others. Am I a stranger to myself? Am I living in denial of my true value or my detrimental flaws? How much effort am I willing to give to hiding and presenting a selective version of myself?

I want to be authentic in all things as a result of having heard from my Father who I am and what I was created for. That requires the discipline of silence and stillness, which I am far from mastering. I want to be still and know that He is God, because everything else in life flows from that knowledge. And only with that realization can I even begin to know who I am and be real.

A Date with Charlie

Last night I had a date with my 13-year-old. It was awesome.

We went to the Paramount Theater in Seattle to see a comedian my son LOVES - Brian Regan. My husband joined us and paid for dinner (Thank you, Tony!), then our date began.

My son didn't remember being at the Paramount before and took in the beautiful chandeliers and the sculpted ceilings as we waited for the show to begin. (Let's just say there were way more seats in front of us than behind us and the ceiling fixtures were a natural point of attraction from where we were.) His anticipation was palpable. After a few text messages to friends and a couple of squeals, the lights dimmed and the opening comic took the stage. He was mildly amusing, but Charlie was ready to laugh and enjoyed the performance.

When Brian Regan was finally announced, I thought my son was going to leap from his seat. I have never seen such excitement up close. Sure, I've see the videos of kids screaming over Elvis in documentaries, but your own offspring mere inches away? It was pure delight. At one point he turned to me and said, with both hands covering his mouth, "He's right here, Mom! He's right here!"

Later, as we were watching the performance on the large screen behind Brian Regan (I told you our seats were up there...) Charlie said, "It's like watching him on TV, but he's right here!"

Truth be told, I laughed so hard my eyes watered and once I thought I might wet my pants a little. He was, in a word, hysterical.

So here's what I've been thinking this morning. We are so enthusiastic about sporting events, pop stars and comedians that we clap, stand and holler, bark like dogs, and scream like little girls, but don't seem to muster up similar energy in the presence of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We will see Him one day. And He is with us every day right now. What would it be like to walk into church tomorrow morning, anticipating His Presence, and say to each other, "He's right here!"

We can talk to Him. We can hear Him. We can interact with Him. And He can change our lives. In every conversation with a friend, He's right here. In tear-filled, silent pain, He's right here. In our most exultant moments of joy, He's right here. What can we do to remind ourselves and each other of that truth? I'm not suggesting we all have to start worshipping like crazy people, but how can we prevent ourselves from becoming complacent in the presence of our Redeemer?

I want more excitement.

More worship adrenaline.

More Holy Spirit fire.

Father, come and have your way in me today. As undignified or as unorthodox as that may be. Make me aware of your holy presence and consume me with your fire. You are right here. May I never forget it. Amen.

Training or Transformation?

Recently I was listening to a podcast of a sermon where the pastor mentioned the difference between training and transformation. I've been noodling the concept ever since.

We can train ourselves to stay within certain behavioral parameters and call it obedience, but never be truly changed. On the other hand, if we commit to being transformed by God's Spirit in every area of our lives, disobedient behaviors will remedy themselves. The difference lies in the source of change - is it me or is it God?

This reminded me of something that happened to me about fifteen years ago. Because of complications from a childhood infection, most of my teen years and early 20's were plagued by chronic but manageable hip pain. By my mid-20's severe arthritis had developed and by 29 I was on prescription pain medication and walking with a cane.

As hard as I might have trained to walk more than a block or two without my cane or medication at that time, I was always going to be limited by the bone-against-bone friction in my hip socket. I could mask the symptoms and keep a stiff upper lip when the pain got to me, but ultimately, I could only do so much to change what was possible for me in this area.

Fast forward to June 1995 and a total hip replacement. After surgery and a few weeks of recovery and physical therapy, I was a new woman! I could walk miles, not yards. I could hike; I could bike; I could tie my own shoes! It was nothing short of a total life transformation.

A delightful side effect of removing my constant pain was a drastic improvement in my disposition. I hadn't realized how crabby years of chronic arthritis had made me! Physically and emotionally I was a new creation, all because of a little titanium in my hip.

See the connection? On my own I am extremely limited in modifying my sinful behaviors. I can tell myself over and over to watch my tongue and hopefully I will say fewer hurtful things this year than I did last year. But if I allow myself to be transformed by the Holy Spirit, giving Him control of my heart to change my passions and desires, then the overflow will naturally be more in line with the fruit only He can produce in me: love, peace, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control.

Lord, transform me. I commit to training in righteousness and trusting you to do what only you can do: make me a new creation in Christ. Amen.

Faucets

In the capital city of the African nation of Tanzania, less than 25% of the residents have access to piped running water in their homes. Fewer than 18% of black South Africans have running water in their homes. And lest we think a scarcity of running water is only a foreign issue, I came across a recent news article saying that thousands of homes on a Navajo reservation in New Mexico will soon get running water for the first time. The Navajo Nation Vice President was quoted as saying, “Water is life, and for those that are not getting running water right now, we are working very hard”.

Clean, safe, convenient water is life. Some have suggested that solving the drinking water problem in strategic areas of the world will improve education, general health and reduce poverty. Without water our bodies will dehydrate and shut down within ten days.

I would never suggest that waiting for my new kitchen faucets was anything close to life-threatening. Slightly inconvenient, if anything. While the prep work was going on upstairs in the kitchen, and I didn’t have running water, I washed two or three dishes at a time in my makeshift galley in the laundry room. Even living like that for only a few days made me realize how often I use my faucets for rinsing, washing and drinking. I had grown particularly fond of my instant hot water faucet, which allowed me to have immediate beverage gratification on a chilly day, and of my freezer’s icemaker, which allowed me to have immediate beverage gratification on a warm day (as rare as those may be in the Pacific Northwest).

Now that I have both, glory! My new faucets are funky and practical – a perfect combination. I have water when I want to wash my hands. I have water when I want to have a drink. There are perfectly formed ice cubes in my freezer. I could have hot apple cider or a hot cup of tea right now if I wanted to. And all because of running water. (And a few additional bells and whistles…)

I’m reminded of the words of Jesus when he spoke to the church at Laodicea:

¹⁴"To the angel of the church in Laodicea write:

These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God's creation. ¹⁵I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! ¹⁶So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.” (Revelation 3:14-16)

Laodicea (in present day Turkey) was located between two cities who were known for their water sources – Hieropolis, where there were hot springs, and Colossae, famous for its cool, pure streams of refreshing water. Hot springs were considered to be medicinal and healing. Cool water was ideal for drinking. Since Laodicea was several miles from each of these useful sources, the aqueducts brought water from either place that was tepid and not too appealing by the time it made the journey to the Laodiceans. It was, in a word, lukewarm.

Not useful.

Not healing.

Not refreshing.

All of which God wants His children to be.

Do we serve others and place their needs above our own so that we’re useful?

Do we speak words of life that bring healing?

Do we live in such a way that brings energy and encouragement to the people around us, refreshing them?

If we’re living like hot or cold water, we should. But if we claim to follow Jesus and the world has influenced us to such a degree that we’re tepid – hypocritical, blending in with our environment, stagnant in our faith – then we’re not attractive in the way that Jesus in us should be.

Here’s the question I’ve asked myself regarding my spiritual zeal: How can I cultivate my relationship with God in such a way that His love and power are evident to those around me? In other words, how can I be sure that I’m either hot – a healing representation of Jesus at work in me – or cold – refreshing and encouraging? Either way I’m called to be a conduit and representation of life. Full and abundant because of the Holy Spirit’s transformational power in me.

Jesus said, “Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him." (John 7:38) That water should be a hot spring or a cool stream.

When the Samaritan woman with a checkered past was approached by Jesus, and the discussion vacillated between the physical and the spiritual, water served as a conversational bridge of sorts. He said, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, ¹⁴but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." (John 4:13-14)

Father, would your Presence so impact my heart that others sense it as well. Make me hot or cold for your glory so that I don’t cease to be useful for anything in your Kingdom. Do big things or do little things through me, but do something. I don’t want to play it safe or fly under the radar for fear of living a life I’m not controlling. I want to put my trust in you completely. Show us your love and help us show it to others. Amen.

• Read Revelation 2:1-3:22. What phrases are repeated? Why? What issues resonate with you?

• Ask God this week to reveal ways in which you can be hot or cold water to people around you. Spend time listening to Him and connecting with Him so you’ll be sure to recognize the promptings when they come.

Giving My Heart

The lyrics to several worship songs have been playing over and over in my head recently and I've noticed a theme: Giving all of my heart to God. What does that even mean? Here are some of the sections of songs that show up in my mental "repeat playlist". (I've also included links to a couple of videos, if you want to take a little worship detour...)

I'll stand with arms high and heart abandoned

In awe of the One who gave it all.

I'll stand, my soul, Lord, to you surrendered,

All I am is yours. (The Stand)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAQ61KH7qRc

You won't relent until you have it all, 

My heart is yours. (Won't Relent)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=74JgXohEcco

So I keep asking myself, "Are there parts of my heart that I'm not giving to God?" How would I even know? And why would I hold on? What does it look like to surrender? Am I doing it, but don't know it? Or is this an area of my faith that God is just about to reveal to me? 

These are some verses I can meditate on, as I ask God to reveal the specifics of giving my whole heart to Him - all my affection, my devotion, my passion, my life.

"But be very careful to keep the commandment and the law that Moses the servant of the LORD gave you: to love the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways, to obey his commands, to hold fast to him and to serve him with all your heart and all your soul." (Joshua 22:5)

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." (Psalm 139:23-24)

"Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name." (Psalm 86:11)

 I'll keep praying that God will increase my passion and desire to give Him my whole heart. I want nothing else. Come be the fire inside of me; be the flame upon my heart. How can that prayer not be answered? I only hope I recognize it when it happens and that I respond. 

Repair and Righteousness

Please enjoy this photo of a damaged wall in my kitchen, badly in need of some spackle, loving care and a little paint. Granted, this space is going to be completely covered by cabinets and a tile back splash, but the surface must be prepped before the pretty stuff can be applied. Did someone ask for a spiritual analogy? Great! I've got one.

Imagine that this wall represents our spiritual state. On our own, we can do nothing to earn God's love or favor. On our best days, our best deeds are not impressive to our holy Creator. In fact, the Bible says our most valiant attempts at being good are like filthy rags to God. (Isaiah 64:6) So without Christ to make a way for us to come into God's presence and have a relationship with Him, we are nothing but wounded, wretched people with gaping holes of need.

However, God, in His infinite love and mercy, did, in fact, send a perfect sacrifice to redeem us from the yuck that kept us away from God. Jesus' death and resurrection not only covered our sin, He removed it and healed us from everything that kept us enemies of God.

Take a look at the following verses Paul wrote to the Roman Christians and see if it makes you think of any aspect of this wall.

²⁰Therefore no one will be declared righteous in his sight by observing the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of sin.

²¹But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. ²²This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, ²³for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, ²⁴and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. ²⁵God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood. He did this to demonstrate his justice, because in his forbearance he had left the sins committed beforehand unpunished— ²⁶he did it to demonstrate his justice at the present time, so as to be just and the one who justifies those who have faith in Jesus. (Romans 3:20-26)

We are incapable of getting our acts together and sprucing up our souls to be presentable to God. These holes will keep coming back unless they are dealt with. Not just covered, but filled in and smoothed over with God's grace and Christ's perfect righteousness. "God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." (2 Corinthians 5:21) We are now not only affiliated with the perfect righteousness of Christ; we have become it. It is in us and through us, identifying us for eternity as God's children.

Of God's many names, this wall makes me think of Jehovah Rapha - the Lord that heals. The gospels are full of accounts of Jesus healing the sick. The Old Testament prophets proclaimed that, although God's hand could strike His children with disease, it was also His hand alone who could heal them. He alone can heal the physical, emotional, mental, and psychological wounds that plague us.

He is also Jehovah Tsidkenu: The Lord our righteousness. The blood of Jesus cleanses us - heals us - and it covers our sin to make us presentable and beautiful to our Father. A friend of mine likes to use the analogy of Christ's righteousness being like a luxurious white spa robe that God puts on us to wear. It is clean and attractive on the outside and it covers a multitude of imperfections underneath. That is Christ's righteousness for us: a flawless garment that clothes us in His perfection despite our sinful nature and behavior.

So if our natural spiritual state looks like a wall with gouges and exposed, unappealing flaws, what kind of physical image might represent Christ's activity in our souls? What about this?

Smooth finish, delicious paint color, flaws corrected. Sinful people covered by and healed by the righteousness of Christ. He is our Redeemer. He is Jehovah Rapha - the God who heals us. He is Jehovah Tsidkenu - our Righteousness. To those who receive Him, who believe in His name, He gives the right to become the children of God. (John 1:12)

Are there still exposed areas that need attention? Absolutely. Is the project complete? Not even close. That's what sanctification is about - becoming more and more holy as we walk with God. But the foundational work has been done. Now we work with God to participate in the process of transforming our hearts so that our passions and behaviors align with His standards.

And even when this spot is covered by new cabinets and new tile, it's nice to know the stuff underneath was taken care of properly. Just like my soul. God has done what was necessary, through Jesus, to place me in a position of confidence before my Maker. Not because of anything I've done, but because of Christ's perfect righteousness. Blessed be His name.

• Read 1 John 2 - 3, the whole chapters, playing close attention to 2:1, 2:29, 3:7-10, and 3:16. What do you notice about the concept of righteousness? What passages convict you? Inspire you? Where are there areas of prayer you could concentrate on this week?

• Think about a verse or a concept from the passages you read from this lesson. What will you share with someone this week? Sharing what we learn is the best way to make sure it's in our brains and hearts for good.