Mountain-top Experiences

Have you ever experienced something so profound or so powerful that it changed you, but you were alone so you've had to try to articulate that experience to someone else? It can be frustrating or it can help you relive the encounter by telling the story. Often we may find ourselves using phrases like, "I just can't describe to you how beautiful is was!" Even as we're trying to do just that!

Moses and the apostle John lived this scenario and we have it in writing, in the Bible. So, I guess their frustration really proved worth their while since we can know exactly what happened, huh?

Still, when we have an encounter with God - a vision, a tender moment, a particular conviction, or insight - it's possible to feel frustration that others have not, or are not currently, experiencing the same things with God. How do we respond to the realization that others are not moving in the direction or at the pace God has us moving?

Here's how it played out for Moses in the desert after his literal mountain-top experience with God. The story is found in the book of Exodus and the chapters describe the following elements of Moses' conversation with God:

Chapter 19 - Moses goes up and down Mount Sinai as an intermediary between the Israelites and God as they promise to consecrate themselves and obey whatever they're told.

Chapter 20 - God speaks loudly, with thunder and lightning, to everyone from Mount Sinai and gives them the 10 Commandments to live by. Then Moses approaches God, who is in a thick darkness.

Chapters 21-23 - God gives Moses further instructions for the social functioning of the Hebrew people.

Chapter 24 - Moses, Joshua and 72 elders approach the mountain to worship God. Then Moses and Joshua come a little further. Finally Moses goes alone to the top of the mountain where God is perceived to be "like a consuming fire on the top of the mountain".

Chapters 25-31 - Moses receives very specific instructions concerning the materials and construction of the tabernacle, as well as the anointing of the priests and their holy wardrobe.

Chapter 32 - Moses descends Mount Sinai, head full of visions and heart full of the experience he's just had with God, when what does he find? His own people dancing around a golden calf they've made because they needed a god and Moses was just taking too long, thank you very much.

When I used to read this story, like so many other accounts in the Bible, I would wonder how the people could be so stupid to miss God when He was right there in their midst. They had been trembling in their sandals a few chapters earlier, promising to follow God and obey His commands, no matter what. No we find them worshipping a golden idol they've specifically been told not to make or worship!

Recently I realized that the Israelites hadn't heard or seen anything I'd just read! Moses alone was chosen to receive the Law and communicate it to the Israelites. He had had the sweet communion with God; they hadn't. He'd heard the wonders of the tabernacle and how amazing it was going to be to house His holy Presence; they hadn't.

I don't know about you, but I've been on both sides of this story.

I've been on retreats where I felt the presence of God and heard His voice powerfully. I've walked with God (or He's walked with me) through seasons of intimacy and conviction, where He has transformed me into what I'm becoming. And my frustration at others who aren't experiencing it has been palpable. And that frustration can spill into judgment and anger when others don't want to - or aren't capable of - going where I've been with God. It seems that may have been what happened in Moses in chapter 32. In the end it turns out his anger mirrored God's, but it did cost him another trip up the mountain to replace the stones he broke in his rage.

Other times I get impatient with God and decide for myself that if He's not going to act in my time frame, I'll just help myself to an idol and move on. And just like Aaron and the others, I find ways to rationalize my behavior and make myself feel better about my disobedience. Aaron told Moses, "You know how prone these people are to evil...they gave me the gold, and I threw it in the fire, and out came this calf!" Right....

The crucial thing to remember is that God is moving each of us along our journey with Him individually and uniquely, even as we function in interdependent community. My faith walk has an effect on others, but it is not the same for everyone. If I'm experiencing a season of conviction and repentance as God reveals Himself to me as holy and mighty, I must fight the urge to respond in contempt to a brother or sister whose heart is full with the joy of blessing and bountiful times. And vice versa.

Our litmus test must always be Scripture and the Holy Spirit's conviction. I can learn from others' seasons and the truth they learn from God, but I don't need to have an identical conviction. I need to depend on God alone for that, and He will take me precisely where I need to go, when I need to go there.

• Take some time this week to read the whole story: Exodus 20-33. What observations or convictions do you have?

• What are you experiencing currently? Hearing from God but frustrated that others don't get it? Or feeling the tug of the Holy Spirit, pushing you toward repentance in an area you're rationalizing?

No Longer A Burden

As I've been engaged in a struggle recently to come to terms with some familiar and hated sin in my life, I was struck by the verse of my favorite hymn. I'd been feeling exhausted from the struggle of continual surrender to the Lord and I cried out to Him to change my heart - one more time. Then these words came to me in the shower:

My sin, O the bliss of this glorious thought
My sin, not in part, but the whole
Is nailed to the cross and I bear it no more
Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord, O My soul!

It occurred to me that I don't have to bear the constant weight of my sin; that's precisely what Christ died for! He is my Savior, my Healer and my Intercessor. The Holy Spirit will convict me and transform me as I surrender to His convictions and rely on Jesus' sacrifice and the power of the resurrection to change me once again.

I'm not after behavior modification here; I'm after complete and radical transformation into the image of Christ. I will not brush my sinful responses to life under the proverbial carpet, grieving the Holy Spirit by my refusal to call my sin what it is. I will not grit my teeth and attempt to walk in Pharisaical adherence to regulations and expectations. I will not blame other people or my circumstances for my sinful attitudes.

I will examine my life in the light of the truth - the person of Jesus Christ. I will lay down my pride and admit when I'm wrong. I will fall on my face, at the feet of Jesus, again and again, until He takes me home and I will be like Him.

My sin is nailed to the cross and I bear it no more! Praise the Lord, O my soul!

Setting The Pace

My son ran in his first 5K race this morning. He placed 67th out of 966 runners. As pleased as he was with his finish, he was a little disappointed in his time. He was hoping to shave a bit off his last time, but he ended up actually adding some time. Instead of the wooded trails where his high school cross country practices and meets are, this was a 5K along the streets of town, along the same trail as the 10K run, which had started earlier, and adjacent to the miniature loop of the kids' 1K dash. It was more like a festival atmosphere than a pure athletic event.

In the car after the race he talked about the reasons for his slower time. He seemed to think it had a lot to do with the wide variety of people running and the lack of someone he could use as a pace-setter for himself. Like my friend when she drives, Charlie likes to pick out a fast runner ahead of him and make it his goal to pass him. The challenge forces him to push himself to run faster. And today he couldn't find his guy.

So, what do exceptional runners do? The ones who actually win races like this one? Charlie says they pace themselves. Now, that's a good idea! Then it doesn't matter who runs with you, where you run, or how many people there are.

Wait, is there a spiritual application here? I think so.

There are lots of decisions we have to make every day about how to live out our faith. Many of these decisions can be made almost intuitively if we know Scripture and are actively pursuing our relationship with God by listening to the Holy Spirit's promptings. Sometimes, however, we hit a wall. A relationship unravels. Plans don't come to fruition. We lose our way. Our friends and leaders are giving mixed advice and viewpoints.

Who, then, becomes our pace-setter for living out our Christian faith uniquely as God created each of us to do?

When we go through life on spiritual autopilot or depending on others for wisdom without going to the Source of wisdom and guidance, we run the risk of running the race without a pace set for us. Then it's too easy to fall behind and forget the reason we're running.

Instead, we would do well to follow the suggestion of the writer of Hebrews, who wrote, "...let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." (Hebrews 12:1) Let's follow Jesus, keeping pace with Him and listening to His voice as we run our race. Then, when friends disagree or we find ourselves in a situation where the answer or the comfort we seek isn't quick in coming, we know who to follow.

The Holy Spirit's job description includes being a Counselor to convict of guilt and sin and righteousness, and to remind us of everything that Jesus taught. (John 16) When we listen to that voice, running to God to find grace and mercy in our time of need, we can find Him, Who is our Way. Then, regardless of the outcome of our situation, when we find God, we win.