Running from God

In the Pixar movie Finding Nemo, Marlin, Nemo's father, and Dory, a fish with short-term memory loss, get trapped in the mouth of a whale when they happen to be swimming with some krill. Fortuitously, Dory speaks whale and can communicate with their host, who eventually instructs them to let go of his taste buds so they can be expelled through the whale's blowhole. (Yes, I know this is anatomically incorrect, but Pixar undoubtedly used poetic license to make a dramatic scene.)

The connection to the Old Testament prophet Jonah isn't hard to see, albeit with some pretty significant discrepancies, not the least of which is that poor Jonah has to spend three days in the belly of a giant fish - just enough time for him to have a bit of spiritual lucidity and write out some heart-wrenching, honest lines of Scripture that echo feelings we all have in times of despair, as we cry out to God.

Most of us are familiar with the story of Jonah being swallowed by a big fish and being vomited out on the shore so he could preach to Nineveh, aren't we? It's a short book - only four chapters - and I've read it many times. But like so many other topics and stories in Scripture, Jonah's story is sitting differently with me this time based on conversations I've been having with God and with other people. And the questions I keep asking myself are these:

Why exactly did Jonah run away from God?

Why do I run away from God?

First, a little background on the life and times of the prophet Jonah. Well, very little on his life, since no one seems to know much about him except that his father's name was Amittai. He makes a brief, one-verse appearance in 2 Kings 14:25, which mentions a prophecy he made under the reign of King Jeroboam II, but other than that, we really only know Jonah because of his eponymous book in the Old Testament, which was written sometime between 780 and 750 B.C.

Nineveh was the capital of the nation of Assyria and they were known for their cruelty and oppression toward enemies. So it's not surprising that Jonah would resist God's call to go to them and preach, even though God's directions were to "preach against it, because its wickedness has come up before me". (Jonah 1:2) Assyria's number was up and Jonah was God's pick to tell them the bad news. The only thing is, if you know the story (spoiler alert...), you know that the Ninevites repented and God's compassion won the day. Not long term (Have a look at the book of Nahum, written 100 years later.), but for the time being.

It's not hard to follow Jonah's fluctuating faith by his actions throughout his brief book, but the underlying motivation is harder to pinpoint. I find the same to be true in my life.

Here's the action: "But Jonah ran away from the LORD". (Jonah 1:3) He bought a ticket on a boat and went the opposite direction "to flee from the LORD." (1:3) The description isn't subtle and there's no attempt to give it some religious veneer or the appearance of obedience. God said, "Go!" Jonah said, "No!"

God didn't tell Jonah what the outcome would be and He doesn't make any guarantees when He gives us instructions to follow, either. When God and Abram began their journey together in Genesis, God only told him, "leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you". (Genesis 12:1) No coordinates. No landmarks. Just an edict to leave and start traveling. The rest is part of the faith Abraham (name change later in Genesis) is lauded for in the rest of the Bible. That faith is what God wants to cultivate in us, too. By unveiling His plans for us one step at a time.

But Jonah didn't have that kind of faith in the moment when God initiated contact. And without it, it's easy to run.

But why? Is it fear? If so, fear of God or fear of others? Was Jonah afraid of God's power in his own life or of the journey he was about to take if he obeyed? Was his fear based on the brutal reputation of the Assyrians since he was a member of an inferior nation? Or, as the later chapters of Jonah's book may reveal, was he afraid that God's judgment wouldn't be harsh enough and he wanted the Assyrians to suffer?

I relate to all possibilities. Sometimes I run from God because I'm afraid of the magnitude of the task before me once He reveals it. I forget that He is the one who will equip me if He is the one who calls me. But in my finite mind it is too daunting. Too complicated. Too uncomfortable. I can't conquer this, I say to God. I want to cling to this sin (or insecurity, or false notion, or relationship, or the status quo, etc.) so I refuse to listen to you. I'm happy where I am and change is too hard. So I run from Him.

I also can relate to Jonah's fear of other people. Especially if they're big, bad and mean like the Assyrians were. God may be calling me to a part of His kingdom work, but if there are looming obstacles in my way in the form of people poking at my insecurities or making life difficult, I will be sorely tempted to protectively carry my fragile ego to a place where I won't be needled by God's voice. I will choose my flavor of security instead, thank you very much. So I run from Him.

And I am embarrassed by how closely I feel linked to Jonah's fear that God wouldn't make the wretched sinners pay. What if God's grace really does apply to them, and not just me? Then I'm not as righteous as I think I am, am I? How dare God extend the same mercy and compassion to those who aren't as devoted and obedient as I am? How will I carry on if my theology is compromised by actually seeing God do something I don't understand? Tsk, tsk. My heart is so tiny sometimes. It wasn't just the Jews of the Old Testament who thought God's favor rested solely on them. I do it, too. Somehow I live as if I can earn the blessings in my life and cause God's love for me to grow, while secretly smiling that others aren't seeing the light so I can justify my own position with God. So I run from Him.

I'm not saying Jonah was right to give into his fear and run. I'm just saying I get it. In lots of subtle ways. Jonah's flight just might have been easier to see because it was physical, whereas mine is often mental or emotional. And fleeing affects my faith and makes an impact on the lives of the people around me. Just like Jonah's attempt to escape God's calling put the sailors' lives in danger until he recognized the connection between his disobedience and the ship's precarious position.

Why do I run from God? Why do I resist hearing His voice when I know that it's only in connection to Him that I find life? His call may be difficult. It may be complicated. It may involve change or even sacrifice in parts of my life that I love. But when I live in obedience the path of communication and understanding is wide open for me to run to Him and find forgiveness, comfort, and guidance when I need it. When I'm deep in the belly of the beast. When the light is gone and I'm afraid for my life. When the waves sweep over me and seaweed is wrapped around my head, I will look to my God and find refuge.

Lord, build my faith and draw me into your presence. Give me strength to conquer my fear of you and help me trust your plan for me so that I won't run from you. I want to run toward you. Amen.

• Read the book of Jonah. What attributes of God do you see in this story that are comforting? Which ones are harder to make peace with? Why?

• Read Jonah 1:9. How do you reconcile Jonah's identification as a Hebrew and a worshipper of God, even though he was living in blatant disobedience? It's more common than you think. How do we justify living in disobedience while still claiming to worship God? Are the two even incompatible?

• What do you think causes Jonah's faith and obedience to ebb and flow throughout this account? He realizes he's the cause of the storm, so he has the sailors toss him over. Then he utters some raw and powerful truth in the belly of the fish. At the end, he's mad at God again. What gives? Do you relate?

Solid Foundation

I've been hearing and saying some hard things lately.

I've been told I'm too direct.

I've told someone that she hurt my feelings and made me angry.

I've been on my face, tears on the carpet, asking God for just the right words and just the right outcome.

I've been arguing with myself to the point of needing a big ol' V-8 slap on the forehead.

I've had to tell someone that a tentative commitment has to be cancelled because I believe God is leading me toward something else.

I've listened to more than one friend tell me that they aren't sure they trust God to take care of them.

I feel like I've been tossed back and forth by the waves and winds and all the other meteorological phenomena mentioned in Scripture as I second-guess myself and doubt my direction.

Aren't I glad my position in Heaven and my relationship with God don't depend on my circumstances or my feelings?

Yes I am!

Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, who made Heaven and earth. He is my Rock and my firm foundation. He is the King of Glory and the Author of Creation. He is my Savior and He is my Lord.

Are your circumstances or relationships threatening your peace of mind? Be reminded, brother or sister, His love and His kingdom cannot be shaken.

Forgetting God

Occasionally I come across Scripture that resonates so deeply that I’m compelled to say aloud, “I do that!” I recognize both the human condition and my own very personal tendencies so clearly in Scripture that I have to stop reading immediately and start a conversation with its Author. Today was like that as I read through the final chapters of the book of Hosea. It wasn’t dissimilar to seeing someone in a garment I own, and thinking, “I have that dress!” But there was an element of conviction to it that went beyond something akin to sartorial recognition. Take a look at this passage and see if you know what I mean:

"But I am the LORD your God, 


who brought you out of Egypt. 


You shall acknowledge no God but me, 


no Savior except me.

I cared for you in the desert, 


in the land of burning heat.

When I fed them, they were satisfied; 


when they were satisfied, they became proud; 


then they forgot me. (Hosea 12:4-6)

That last verse really hit me: when they were satisfied, they became proud; then they forgot me. I do that! And I’m not the only one. All through the Old Testament there are copious examples of God’s people turning away from Him to walk in their own strength and in their own sin once the disaster that threatened had been taken care of.

By God.

As if to say, “Thanks, God. We’ll take it from here. And next time we get ourselves into trouble, we expect you to be there to bail us out again, even if we completely ignore you in the meantime and devote our hearts and lives to something else.” These may not be the actual words we use, but it’s what we mean when we aren’t consistent and disciplined about spending time with God and submitting to Him because of the love relationship He initiated with us.

God hasn’t been ambiguous in His aspirations for us. From the time He chose Moses and the nation of Israel as His own people, God has been relentless in communicating His passion for His people and His desire for them to pursue Him and devote themselves wholly to Him. So singular has this message been, in fact, that it can be traced throughout almost every major and minor prophet in the Old Testament. We also see the fulfillment of the message every time Jesus spoke and in every miracle He performed in the gospels. To make it a hat trick, the New Testament writers remind readers again and again to come back to God and nothing but God to live abundant and peaceful lives.

So what is it about human nature that perpetuates this tension between His goodness and our forgetfulness?

How is it that we remember so often and so naturally to pour out our deepest pain and cry out to Him in desperation but so quickly forget the source of our comfort?

The crazy variable isn’t God, I can assure you.

I see one thing more than any other that leads us away from our Healer and Provider when things are going well. And God points it out through Hosea in this passage. Pride. We run to God in times of pain because we have reached the end of ourselves. So often that’s exactly where He wants us. Humble and honest. But not so He can gloat over our neediness or exploit our weakness; He wants us to come to Him in all of our circumstances because that’s how we cultivate the relationship. And relationship is among God’s highest priorities. Our pride when life is rolling along nicely prevents us from doing that. Instead we think that God has surely equipped us to make it on our own, but we were the ones who really put in the necessary effort so we can feel justified in taking some of that glory that belongs to our Maker and puff up our egos with it instead. Or we are simply so absorbed in our own thoughts and lives that we don’t care to think about God or anybody else. Again, we would never utter those actual sentences to the other members in a Bible study, but it’s what we’re communicating to God when we forget where our blessings come from and refuse to acknowledge Him. We think we did it ourselves. Or worse, that we are just enjoying the reward we deserve.

Why should we acknowledge God in good times and in bad? Because He’s God and He says so. Unfortunately for us, it comes down to that sometimes. Recently I heard a friend explain so eloquently how she tried to help her children understand that sometimes obedience comes first and explanation comes (or not) later. The most beautiful part of her story was when she quoted herself to her daughter, saying, “I just need you to do this now and trust that I know what’s best for you. Sometimes there are grown-up things that I just don’t want you to have to deal with right now, so trust me and do what I’ve asked you to.” This is exactly the message God sends to us! I was struck immediately by the loving, wise and parental tone that my friend has toward her children and that God has toward us. In spite of our pride.

It definitely takes discipline to train ourselves to acknowledge and praise God when there are few challenges to drive us into His presence. But training ourselves is exactly what we must do. Build in our times of peace, if you will. (Where have I heard that before....?) Habitual worship reminds us of the God we serve and the God who has given us blessing and provision when we deserve death. This can be regular church attendance, singing songs that are based on Scripture, reading the Bible, or anything else that brings us back again and again to what is true about God.

He is the Lord our God, who has brought us out of slavery and into freedom. He has cared for us in our financial, emotional, and spiritual deserts when the glaring heat of life’s trials threatened to evaporate the living water right out of us. And He has provided for us: food, shelter, love, and a Savior who tore the veil in the temple that separated us from His forgiveness and eternity in His presence by His death and resurrection. When pride wipes our memories clean of those things, we deeply offend the One who loves us most. We already have more than we could ever earn and if God never did another thing for us, He would still be just and good and loving. So acknowledging His perfect character and devoting our lives to understanding and loving Him are appropriate responses.

What do I have that you did not give? There’s nothing that I can see. So all I have to give to you is what you’ve given me. (Margaret Becker, “All I Ever Wanted”)






• Read Exodus 20:1-6 and Deuteronomy 8:16-18. According to these passages what has God done for man? What are man’s warnings or instructions?


• In what practical ways do you proactively seek God and praise Him for what is true about Him and thank Him for what He has done in your life?


•Do you find yourself needing to repent of pride after reading the Scripture in this lesson? Where else in Scripture have you recognized yourself in good ways or bad ways? How do you interact with God on those occasions?

Last weekend my husband and I went to some open houses in the area. He loves to do this every Sunday and this time I decided to come along. It's fun to get decorating ideas and see what various neighborhoods are like.

We were in a beautiful house, completely out of our price range, that had a charming home office. As we often do in these homes, I began planning how each space would be used for our furniture and lifestyle. Just in case.

"This could be my office," I announced.

"What do you do?" the realtor asked.

On the verge of saying, "I don't do anything", I paused and said with as much confidence as I had at the moment, "I'm a writer." Exhale. I felt a little like a poser, but justified my statement by telling myself that I do, in fact, write, so....

"Oh! What do you write?" It's a question that I get a lot when I tell people that I'm pursuing this vocation.

"I write Bible studies." I waited for the head lift, slow nod, and the "ohhhhh" that accompanies this information. But instead, Kay asked more questions and seemed genuinely interested. She had done some Bible studies herself and attends a large church where one of the names she mentioned was familiar to me.

"How did you learn all that?" she asked, when I told her about the Bible study I had recently had published.

I have no good answer for this question so I responded with the only truth I knew.

"I love the Bible."

Her response has had me thinking ever since.

"You love the Bible?" Just like that. I couldn't tell if it was incredulity or because it didn't answer the question. But to me it does answer the question. Completely.

One of my favorite verses in Psalm 119 is "Oh, how I love your law!" I do. And it compels me to read more, learn more, and apply more of God's statutes in my life as I get older and hopefully wiser. Just reading God's Word doesn't make me smarter, but applying it transforms me. How could I not want to delve deeper and deeper into that source of life change? When could I possibly exhaust the extent of knowledge of God's character? Especially when so many of the stories are better than any movie I've ever seen!

I love the Bible. I honestly do. And the more I read the more I love it. And the more I love its Author, my God and Creator. It's true that the Word of God is living and active. It's convicting and encouraging. It slices and heals. And I want to know every part of it.

Hosea

I wonder if it was any consolation to Hosea or to his children to know that they were symbolic of something bigger God was doing in Israel and Judah, rather than just the unfortunate twists, turns and bird doo doo of life coming their way. What they went through in their family life was terrible. Did it help to know it was for a larger purpose or was it just awful to have your dad name you "Not My People"? Or to have your wife keep whoring around after you're married?

Does knowing that God has a purpose in my life make all things bearable?

Does everything fade in comparison to hearing God's loving promises spoken over me in the wilderness?

It has to.

I want to hear and believe God when He says:

"And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the LORD." (Hosea 2:19-20)

What a difference it would have made in Gomer's life to be made aware of her guilt and shame yet hear these words from God and know Him. To hear promises she may have heard from many men but to know in the deepest part of her that they were true now in a way she'd never imagined.

And how it must have comforted her children to hear from God:

"And I will have mercy on No Mercy, and I will say to Not My People, 'You are my people'; and he shall say, 'You are my God'". (Hosea 2:23)

Hope.

Restoration.

Belonging.

How can I cling to those truths so tightly that I'm not shaken by my insecurities and circumstances? How long must I follow you, Lord, before I truly believe your promises and I say, "You are my God" and know it and mean it?

Come, Lord Jesus, and make it true in my life.

Humility

He was born into a socially elite family and had the physique of a Greek statue. Good looking, smart and trained to excel in the highest circles, Daniel had it all. Even though he and his peers were forced to live in a foreign country, they were chosen to serve the king and they were treated well: all the choice foods and wines they could consume. And if that wasn’t enough for Daniel’s resumé, God also gave him knowledge, wisdom and insight that put him in a class all by himself. And Daniel never forgot where his blessings came from so he stayed faithful to the dietary and moral standards of his faith, refusing the rich foods the king offered and remaining steadfast in his values, even when it meant his life was in danger. He served at the royal court even when the nation in power changed. King after king took advantage of this gifted man to run his kingdom.

One would imagine a guy like this, who possessed all the most enviable qualities in life, would also be pretty full of himself and might start to believe he deserved all the blessings God sent his way. I would. Not so with Daniel. The stark contrast between Daniel’s character and mine has hit me hard recently. Look at these passages that describe him:

³ Then the king ordered Ashpenaz, chief of his court officials, to bring in some of the Israelites from the royal family and the nobility- ⁴ young men without any physical defect, handsome, showing aptitude for every kind of learning, well informed, quick to understand, and qualified to serve in the king's palace. He was to teach them the language and literature of the Babylonians. ⁵ The king assigned them a daily amount of food and wine from the king's table. They were to be trained for three years, and after that they were to enter the king's service.

⁶ Among these were some from Judah: Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah. ⁷ The chief official gave them new names: to Daniel, the name Belteshazzar; to Hananiah, Shadrach; to Mishael, Meshach; and to Azariah, Abednego.

⁸ But Daniel resolved not to defile himself with the royal food and wine, and he asked the chief official for permission not to defile himself this way. ⁹ Now God had caused the official to show favor and sympathy to Daniel… ¹⁷ To these four young men God gave knowledge and understanding of all kinds of literature and learning. And Daniel could understand visions and dreams of all kinds.

¹⁸ At the end of the time set by the king to bring them in, the chief official presented them to Nebuchadnezzar. ¹⁹ The king talked with them, and he found none equal to Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah; so they entered the king's service. ²⁰ In every matter of wisdom and understanding about which the king questioned them, he found them ten times better than all the magicians and enchanters in his whole kingdom.

²¹ And Daniel remained there until the first year of King Cyrus. (Daniel 1:3-9; 17-21)

Here’s the part I long to emulate in my life. Daniel has an encounter with God after some visions God gives him about the end of time. Heavy stuff, to say the least.

⁸ So I was left alone, gazing at this great vision; I had no strength left, my face turned deathly pale and I was helpless. ⁹ Then I heard him speaking, and as I listened to him, I fell into a deep sleep, my face to the ground.

¹⁰ A hand touched me and set me trembling on my hands and knees. ¹¹ He said, "Daniel, you who are highly esteemed, consider carefully the words I am about to speak to you, and stand up, for I have now been sent to you." And when he said this to me, I stood up trembling.

¹² Then he continued, "Do not be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to them.” (Daniel 10:8-12)

Verse 12 has been resounding in my head for days: “Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to them”. Wow.

And the question I can’t answer or shake is this: What kind of daily decisions does it take to commit to understanding God and being humble so that God will come to me and I can have an experience with Him like this?

It seems to me that when God comes to speak to His people, certain characteristics in the encounter are usually present.

1. God’s gives a clear message. It was true with Daniel: God told him the interpretation of his visions. It was true with Jeremiah: God put His words in Jeremiah’s mouth and told him to speak. (Jeremiah 1) It happened with Moses in the desert, Gideon, Isaiah, John and Paul. When God speaks it is clear.

2. The encounter is powerful. All the aforementioned men had dramatic physical responses to God’s voice. They fell on their faces. They trembled. They passed out. They were afraid and overwhelmed. I’m beginning to think this encounter with God is exactly what keeps them humble. And if it’s the only way to have the character God wants to develop in me so His kingdom can be advanced, then bring it on!

3.

There is reassurance. God knows how scary He can be. And rightly so. Lest we forget, He is the Creator of all that is seen and unseen and raised Christ from the dead. Yet He cares for His children and wants intimate and dynamic relationships with them so He comes in power and in love. He tells the trembling, frightened, cowering people He approaches to be strong. To experience peace. And to obey even when it’s going to be hard. When Daniel had been reassured, he recognized the source of his strength and was encouraged to hear and do more. “When he spoke to me, I was strengthened and said, ‘Speak, my lord, since you have given me strength.’” (Daniel 10:19)

To be honest, this concept has raised more questions for me than it has given me answers. What I do know is this: I want to experience God fully. If it means I fall on my face, shaking, sweating, and crying, so be it. I want to be a woman who exudes God confidence, but is humble. The dramatic way in which men like Daniel experienced God is right up my alley. And I catch glimpses of it, but is it greedy to want more and more? I do. Regardless of what He has to tell me in those moments, sensing His powerful presence is enough. I want it to be enough all of the time.

Yet so much of my life doesn’t reflect this.

Powerful, loving Father, come to me. Not because of my righteousness, but because of your mercy. Bring me to my knees, on my face or whatever posture you need to in order to humble me and have me experience you. I come into your presence only because of the sacrifice of Jesus on my behalf. May I never take that gift for granted. Amen.

1 O God, you are my God,

earnestly I seek you;

my soul thirsts for you,

my body longs for you,

in a dry and weary land

where there is no water.

2 I have seen you in the sanctuary 


and beheld your power and your glory. (Psalm 63:1-2)

Adolescence Isn't Terminal

I just finished reading Kevin Leman's book on raising teenagers. It's called Adolescence Isn't Terminal (It just feels like it). As I have a 13-year-old son, it seemed an appropriate read and it had been loaned and recommended to me by a friend.

The book is a good mix of anecdotes, statistics and practical advice for building a solid foundational relationship with your kids before and during their teenage years. Dr. Leman is a parent and a counselor who offers a definite conservative worldview, but doesn't come across as preachy. There was only one reference to a particular Bible verse that I remember, but the majority of his premise is definitely centered on a traditional Judeo-Christian values system. Specific topics included how to talk to your kids about sex so they'll have a healthy view of it but abstain until marriage. He also mentions conversations to have with your kids when they don't want to go to church or synagogue with the family.

Overall, I found it helpful to see examples of what is considered normal teenage behavior and what constitutes behavior that should concern or alarm parents.

Aside from the hype over how humorous the stories are and the occasional name-dropping of Dr. Leman's "good friends" in the sports and ministry world, I thought the book was both helpful and encouraging. I would highly recommend it for parents approaching those potentially rocky years of adolescence.