Growing Pains

Did you hear about the teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his boots? He asked for help and she could see why. With her pulling and him pushing, the boots still didn’t want to go on. When the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost whimpered when the little boy said, “Teacher, they’re on the wrong feet.” She looked, and sure enough, they were. It wasn’t any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on – this time on the right feet.

He then announced, “These aren’t my boots.” She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, “Why didn’t you say so?!” Once again, she struggled to help him pull off the ill fitting boots. He then said, “They’re my brother’s boots. My mom made me wear them.”

She didn’t know if she should laugh or cry. She mustered up the grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again.

She said, “Now where are your mittens?”

He said, “I stuffed them in the toes of my boots….”

Does working on difficult relationships ever feel like this to anyone but me? Just when I’m reaching an understanding of someone or have made peace with certain expectations, a conversation needs to take place to clarify or express, and the terrain gets rocky again.

I came across this quote in a book I’m reading on relationships, and I wonder if you can get behind this sentiment:

“The trade-off of current uneasiness for the awkward pain of growth is
the promise of future relief.” (How We Love, Yerkovich, p. 299)

These authors make it sound like it’s going to be hard either way: if you stay where you are in relational dysfunction with people or if you choose to move forward and gain understanding and change as a person. I have found that to be true; have you? Here’s a bit of Scripture that I have been living with over the past couple of weeks that has been encouraging in this area:

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you,

live at peace with everyone.” (Romans 12:18)

Do you know what I love about it? It’s a perfect balance of a high standard of relational accountability with the freedom of reality. I have to do everything in my power, as God leads me, to live peaceably with everyone in my life. That’s my responsibility, period. And sometimes that’s exhausting. What’s also true is that sometimes it’s not possible, and sometimes it’s not up to me. Whew, right? Except that both of those scenarios can be painful, whether I’m
giving up my expectations on a relationship because I’ve been hurt or misunderstood so the relationship ends or I’m digging deep to find words to express myself and risking rejection, derision or more pain, but the relationship evolves.

So how do we know if we’ve done everything that depends on us to live at peace? How do I know if anything is required of me at all? And what’s wrong with just writing people off when the going gets tough so you can move on to greener relational pastures? If only a relationship with God was a formula. Then I could insert the flow chart below and we’d never have to press into God to listen to His Spirit in each individual situation we face. Oh, wait. Then we’d miss out on the relationship! That’s precisely why there is no formula!

Here are some principles that have helped me in messy relationships and led me toward resolution more often than dissolution. This is not an exhaustive list; just some helpful points.

1. Check yourself. This is the phase of the process that has to do with the “as far as it depends on you” part of the verse in Romans and must come first. Before any kind of fierce conversations can take place, I need to know my heart is in the right place. I ask God things like, “Why am I having this reaction?” “What is this feeling and where is it coming from?” “What did I do to cause this situation?” “What perspective am I not seeing?” “Is my expression of my feelings crucial to the health of the relationship?” “What do you want me to do or say?” If we never move beyond this step in our relationships, we still win.

2. Speak the truth in love. Once you’ve gone through the process of asking God to reveal your heart and asking Him to reveal His, you will be in a better position to say what’s on your mind. It’s ok to have feelings, but not everyone needs to know all of them all the time. If I’ve hashed them out with God, who cares more than anyone, I’m free to say only what needs to be said for clarification. I can express hurt, ask questions, and respond when the real working out of the situation has already happened between me and God.

3. Be real. Be clear. Be kind. As believers, we are all members of the body of Christ, and as such we are responsible for encouraging, challenging and loving each other as God’s Spirit prompts and convicts us. Speaking our minds doesn’t have to be cruel. Taking our time to allow God to give us just the right words (or to clamp our mouths shut) is one way to “restore each other gently” (Galatians 6:1) and move the relationship toward a deeper, more satisfying place.

4. Give the benefit of the doubt. Especially if there is a misunderstanding or tension between believers, we have to extend some grace to each other. If I’m trying to love my neighbor as myself, why would I assume that you’re not making the same effort?

5. Release. When we’ve consulted God, examined our hearts, and spoken the truth in love, sometimes we need to release the results and let the chips fall where they may. Sometimes we need to release the relationship.

It’s not ok to leave things the way they stand when there are misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Awkwardness turns into resentment, anger and bitterness, which are seeds of division in the body of Christ. (Hebrews 12:14-15) But how we approach these tender situations can only be determined by a thorough examination of our own motives and a solid connection to the One who knows us and wants His children to live in peace. Conflict is one way God refines our character and challenges us to press into Him, developing our trust in Him along the way. When viewed from that perspective, it’s not all bad.

There are myriad methods of clearing up the messy bits in friendships, marriages, and other significant connections we have with each other. Sometimes we need to be direct with each other and lay out the issues clearly to get to the heart of an issue. Sometimes we need to bite our tongues. Sometimes God will reveal a creative and innovative way of arriving at resolution. But here’s the pay off verse I want to end on:

“Now if we are children, then we are heirs – heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.” (Romans 8:17)

When we work through our feelings and issues with others as we go to God, asking Him to reveal Himself in the process, He receives glory. Because we are all members of His body, the church, when one of us suffers in relational tension, every part suffers. (1 Corinthians 12:26) Christ Himself had a few run-ins with those who opposed Him as well as those in His inner circle. When we have misunderstandings or conflict, we share in that kind of suffering. And
working through it to reach understanding and peace requires submission of our agendas and our wills to His, so when it works, He gets the glory! And I don’t share that glory in a sense that I get some of it; I share in the enjoyment of knowing God is lifted up and is getting credit for a relationship that went right!

I have had to do some hard, hard work and some deep soul-searching in the most important relationships in my life. And I can tell you unequivocally that the effort is worth it. Not only would I not still be married if I hadn’t worked through this process, I wouldn’t know how deeply God loves me and cares about how I interact with my brothers and sisters in His family. When I die to myself, admit my failures and ask for forgiveness, or when I have to tell someone how they’ve hurt me so we can move past the issue, I have had to spend significant time with God first. Hearing His voice, sensing His direction and seeing Him get the glory in the end is always worth persevering.

• Read the following Scripture passages and write down (or discuss) what relationship principles you see. What areas do you find coming up in your relationships more frequently than others? Are you willing to go through the process with God and other people to make some changes? What first steps will you take?

~ Ephesians 4:17-5-21 ~ Galatians 5:16-6:14 ~Hebrews 12:14-15

• Read Luke 16:1-13. How does the shrewd manager demonstrate the value of relationships in this life?

Talking Back to God

Growing up in our house as a kid, there weren’t a lot of opportunities to question the rules or insert our opinions into the family plans or behavioral expectations. “Please” and “Thank you” were highly valued, and teachers and parents alike garnered respect and unquestioning acquiescence. Yes, this was partly my first-born personality; but it was also the cultural expectation.

I had friends whose parents were a little more liberal and there were vibrant, robust dialogues going on between kids and adults, often accompanied by yelling and slamming doors. They were expressing themselves. It was open communication. I was very uncomfortable.

Understandably, we come to God with some of our childhood ideas of authority and relationships, so we may read Scripture with that filter and see God as the kind of parent we grew up with. For many, this is an easy transition. For some, a new paradigm must emerge

Here’s a section of Scripture that took me back and caused me to reexamine the concept of “talking back” as opposed to “talking to” God in difficult life situations:

¹⁹One of you will say to me: "Then why does God still blame us? For who resists his will?" ²⁰But who are you, O man, to talk back to God? "Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, 'Why did you make me like this?' “²¹Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for noble purposes and some for common use? (Romans 9:19-21)

Who are you to talk back to God? What does that even mean? When something in Scripture makes me uncomfortable or makes me question what I already know, I tend to dig deeper. It seemed to me that there were things I’d read that made me believe I could pour out my heart to God – my deepest and most unattractive emotions – and that He cared and could take it all. Then, what’s this about not talking back to God? Am I encouraged to express myself fully or aren’t I?

When I looked up the references to the passage in Romans, I found these verses from Isaiah:

You turn things upside down,

as if the potter were thought to be

like the clay!

Shall what is formed say to him who

formed it,

"He did not make me"?

Can the pot say of the potter,

"He knows nothing"?

⁹ "Woe to him who quarrels with his

Maker,

to him who is but a potsherd among

the potsherds on the ground.

Does the clay say to the potter,

'What are you making?'

Does your work say,

'He has no hands'?

¹¹"This is what the LORD says—

the Holy One of Israel, and its

Maker:

Concerning things to come,

do you question me about my

children,

or give me orders about the work of

my hands? (Isaiah 29:16; 45:9, 11)

If I am the clay and God is the Potter, as is described several times in Scripture, then it sounds like God gets to make decisions about how my life goes and I don’t have the right to question Him. As unappealing as this may sound to those who highly value control, it’s a good thing that God is sovereign. He is perfect and in control; we are not.

So is it true that we can fully vent to God with impunity or do these verses mean that we just have to sit down, shut up, and take what we get from God? As the apostle Paul would say, “By no means!” Instead, Peter encourages us to cast our anxiety on God because He does, in fact, care for us. (1 Peter 5:7) And the psalmist has some very real feelings of dissatisfaction to express to God in this Psalm:

¹My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?

Why are you so far from saving me,

So far from the words of my groaning?

²O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer,

by night, and am not silent. (Psalm 22:1-2)

These are words that Jesus used on the cross to express His feelings of solitude and rejection and they are considered noble expressions of emotion to God. So what’s the difference? Consider the verses that precede Peter’s exhortation to cast our anxiety on God in his letter:

⁵Young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” ⁶Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. (1 Peter 5:5-6)

Is it possible that humility serves as a way to calibrate my attitude before God when things aren’t clear or don’t go my way? Does my nose get bent out of shape so I argue with God, get angry, and feel entitled to explanations when my pride isn’t in check? I don’t know what the answer is for you, but for me, it’s a pretty resounding, “uh-huh”. If I’m humble, I’m more likely to cast my anxiety on God and come to Him with real issues, feeling deeply and searching for His perspective. When my pride is rearing its ugly head, I feel more insistent on His explaining things in a way I can understand, or even less appealingly, I feel entitled to get what I want. That sentiment is never held up as a virtue in Scripture.

Jesus promised His disciples rest for their souls if they (and we) would come to Him and learn from Him because He is gentle and humble. (Matthew 11:28-30) We are never promised a life without pain, discomfort, or disappointment, but we can have a life that is free from anxiety. Doesn’t that sound good? But finding peace and rest for my soul requires taking on Jesus’ command and submitting to His teaching and His ways. Soul rest. Complete contentment with my lot in life because my trust in God is solid. Yeah, I want that. I think it might look like this Psalm:

¹ My heart is not proud, O LORD,

my eyes are not haughty;

I do not concern myself with great matters

or things too wonderful for me.

² But I have stilled and quieted my soul;

like a weaned child with its mother,

like a weaned child is my soul within me. (Psalm 131:1-2)

Sovereign Lord, convict me and humble me when my pride short-circuits the transformation process you want to do in me to impact Your Kingdom. You must become greater; I must become less. Amen.

• Read and compare Luke 1:18-20 and Luke 1:34-38. What characteristics to Zechariah and Mary demonstrate? What similarities and differences are there in their encounters with a divine message? Which resonates with you more? Why?

• Read 2 Chronicles 7:13-14, Micah 6:8, Ephesians 4:2, and James 4:6-10. Ask God to reveal the truths of these passages as well as any specific application He may want to bring to your attention. Spend some time thinking about God’s character and His desires in this area of your life.

• This lesson refers to several Scripture references. Do any of them strike a chord with you? Are any enlightening? Would memorizing one or meditating or journaling on one be helpful in drawing you close to God this week?

Mutual Encouragement

A dear friend of ours used to jokingly say, “Be encouraged!” when things just couldn’t get any worse. It was our way of laughing at the unbelievable pressure of a given situation when there was no prospect of an immediate solution or relief.

There are some among us who are naturally gifted encouragers. They have a knack for seeing the best in people in calling it out of them. They challenge others. They reassure. They inspire hope and confidence, emboldening and stimulating those around them to reach for more. To keep trusting God, even when He seems far away and silent.

But even for those of us who are not prone to encouragement, we are called to it. Just as not everyone has the gift of generosity, but we are all called to give. Not all have the gift of celibacy, but all are called to purity. Encouragement is energy – a deep breath to gather strength to continue – that keeps the body of Christ moving. It implies deep connections and participation in the lives of people God has surrounded us with.

As I’ve contemplated encouragement recently, I’ve been thinking of some people who encourage me. Here’s a brief, but heartfelt list (by no means complete) of ways my spirit has been urged along in life:

• Authors – Political, religious, and secular writers make me think beyond conventional wisdom and theology. Whether the thought comes from an author/pastor or a political extremist, God’s truth is strong and can bear up under the scrutiny of inquiring minds. I am encouraged by those who have taken the time and energy to question the status quo and urge me to do the same.

• Sure Friends – I have friends who are very sure of their beliefs and of theological issues and they encourage me to dig deep into what I believe Scripture says. I’m not threatened by their confidence; I’m inspired by it.

• Vulnerable Friends – A have a few friends, conversely, who encourage me by their very struggle to do the right thing and hear God in the midst of their struggles. I’m honored that one young friend in particular allows me to participate in her process as she looks at tough personal issues, trying to seek God and please Him, as she begins her relationship with Him. I want to do that, too.

• Active Friends – These friends live by the Nike slogan – “Just Do It”! My husband thought he could do what he was doing better on his own than working for someone else. So he started his own business. My best friend felt God prompting her to get involved with the poor so she organized a multi-church food drive and began tutoring in an adult literacy program. One friend (I love this!) chooses one Cuppa Joe lesson and gathers a group of women from her church once a month to discuss it in a coffee shop.

Here are a couple of bites of Scripture that have had me thinking this week. See what they stir up in you:

¹¹I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong— ¹²that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith. (Romans 1:11-12, NIV)

²⁴And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. ²⁵Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. (Hebrews 10:24-25, NIV)

In the verses from Romans, Paul reveals his very relational and passionate tendencies in doing God’s work. He often tells the recipients of his letters how much he loves and misses them, and the beginning of his letter to the Roman Christians is no exception. And his desire to impart some spiritual gift to make them strong isn’t hubris; it’s from God. He doesn’t want the instruction or encouragement to be one-way. He wants his experience with this group of believers to be mutually encouraging. That’s kingdom life in community! To be encouraged by each other’s faith. I hope my belief in God and what I’m learning in my time in Scripture will lead me to live my life and speak words that encourage you to press into Him. To make you want to pursue God more passionately and live more purposefully. And I want that from you, too.

The writer of Hebrews challenges us to be proactive in considering how we can encourage one another. He uses a word in the NIV that doesn’t occur anywhere else in the Bible: spur on. Look at these other translations of the same passage:

²⁴And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, ²⁵ not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. (ESV)

²⁴And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works:

²⁵Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching. (KJV)

Stir up. Provoke. Maybe part of the encouragement process might be uncomfortable. What do you think? It might be hard to encourage someone in an area of her spiritual journey that gets messy. Or that you don’t understand completely. Or makes you have to say things that are true, but hard to hear. Yes, encouragement can mean saying, “You can do it!” But it can also mean saying, “Stop doing this!”

We are meant to live in community. That’s not just a Christian thing. That’s a human thing. We are social creatures and sometimes society gets stuck. (That’s an understatement, isn’t it?) In the body of Christ, we can encourage one another in all the ways – big and small – that make us more like the people God created us to be.

• Who has encouraged you in your faith or in your pursuits recently? Who makes you think harder and dig deeper? Who are you doing that for? Ask God to reveal those relationships this week.

• Where would you go in Scripture to encourage someone in the following areas:

~ Forgiveness ~ Marriage struggles ~ Injustice

• How has “Cuppa Joe” encouraged you? What lessons have challenged you? What did you do with that?

Joy!

This past Sunday was the third Sunday of Advent. The candle on the Advent wreath is a different color than the others, and it represents joy. If your church tradition embraces the liturgical year and its trappings you may have witnessed someone lighting the pink candle in your congregation last week. There is anticipation and preparation of Christ’s advent – His incarnation among us – at this time of year. There is also joy. Joy in the wrapping of gifts, cozy fireside chats, and festive parties to celebrate the season. But the joy of knowing and following God goes beyond the time of year when we remember Jesus’ birth. As Christians this is an apt time of year to remember that we are receiving “the goal of our faith; the salvation of our souls”. (1 Peter 1:9) That’s why we can be filled with “inexpressible and glorious joy” when we anticipate and prepare for an encounter with Christ at Christmas.

But for some, struggles don’t let up just because it’s Christmas. In fact, when going through a rough patch, the holiday season can intensify the feelings of pain or disconnectedness and make the lights and music feel jarring because of the internal turmoil over circumstances. How can we find joy in any circumstances? Why are we instructed to look for this aspect of fruit from the Holy Spirit’s work in our lives and how can we participate?

I came across an unlikely scenario describing joy this week in my reading of Nehemiah. And because I had just spent time preparing a short devotional for church on the joy candle of the advent wreath, my reticular activating system was highly attuned to notice references to it. In addition to the more common Bible verses about joy, these descriptive situations reminded me of my role in participating in acquiring joy.

Here’s the background story: Nehemiah has returned to Jerusalem to assess the damage to the walls and the city and to come up with a plan of action to return things to their former function. Ezra the priest has already been back in Jerusalem from exile for some time, working on rebuilding the temple. Once both structures had been completed and a genealogical record of the families who had returned had been taken, everyone gathered to hear Ezra read from the Law that God had given Moses in the desert. Before we look specifically at the joy passages, take a moment to appreciate the setting as Ezra stands before the people with God’s Word:

¹ …all the people assembled as one man in the square before the Water Gate. They told Ezra the scribe to bring out the Book of the Law of Moses, which the LORD had commanded for Israel.

² So on the first day of the seventh month Ezra the priest brought the Law before the assembly, which was made up of men and women and all who were able to understand. ³ He read it aloud from daybreak till noon as he faced the square before the Water Gate in the presence of the men, women and others who could understand. And all the people listened attentively to the Book of the Law.

⁴ Ezra the scribe stood on a high wooden platform built for the occasion. …

⁵ Ezra opened the book. All the people could see him because he was standing above them; and as he opened it, the people all stood up. ⁶ Ezra praised the LORD, the great God; and all the people lifted their hands and responded, "Amen! Amen!" Then they bowed down and worshiped the LORD with their faces to the ground. (Nehemiah 8:1-5)

In my head I’m singing the song from the movie “Flashdance” right now… “What a feeling!” What anticipation! What energy! What stamina to stand listening to someone read Scripture for several hours! Think they had a vested interest in what Ezra had to say after living in a foreign land among a foreign people for a whole generation? I believe the people were not only listening attentively; I believe that they were starving for the truth and the cultural relevance that only God’s Word could provide to them at that time. They weren’t just interested – they were desperate. That’s a perfect time to assess the reality of a situation and of a relationship with God. Nothing to lose and hearts ready for God to interject Himself. Been there? Yeah, me too.

Now for the joy. The people weren’t feeling it at first. What they heard made them weep out of conviction and grief for their years of disobedience and separation from God. But that wasn’t God’s purpose for the gathering. Look at how it plays out:

⁹ Then Nehemiah the governor, Ezra the priest and scribe, and the Levites who were instructing the people said to them all, "This day is sacred to the LORD your God. Do not mourn or weep." For all the people had been weeping as they listened to the words of the Law.

¹⁰ Nehemiah said, "Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength." (Nehemiah 8:9-10)

Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength. Do you love it?! How can we participate in entering into joy? By facing our weakness and appropriating His perfect strength! Joy is not choosing phony happiness and smiles in our pain. It’s finding a solid foundation underneath our pain to buoy and strengthen us because our core truths are never compromised. It’s an eternal perspective that never loses sight of our eternal blessings, which are ours now. Look at how Paul says it:

⁹But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. ¹⁰That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

There is joy in weakness.

But wait. There’s more. Since the political and religious leaders had encouraged the people to celebrate instead of mourn, they found yet another reason for joy:

¹² Then all the people went away to eat and drink, to send portions of food and to celebrate with great joy, because they now understood the words that had been made known to them. (Nehemiah 8:12)

God’s commandments to us are always good and always for our provision and protection. Intellectual assent to that fact without full understanding and conviction doesn’t equal joy. But there is deep satisfaction in the knowledge and assimilation of God’s values and directives for our lives.

There is joy in understanding God’s Word.

Don’t good things come in 3’s? There’s one more. The next day the people discovered, through reading more of the Law, that they were supposed to be celebrating by building little temporary structures and living in them. (For more information on The Feast of Booths (or Tabernacles) go to Deuteronomy 16:13-17 and http://www.jewfaq.org/holiday5.htm.) So guess what they did?

The whole company that had returned from exile built booths and lived in them. From the days of Joshua son of Nun until that day, the Israelites had not celebrated it like this. And their joy was very great. (Nehemiah 8:17)

Admitting weakness leads to a hunger for God’s truth. God’s truth is meant to be understood. And ultimately, our understanding is meant to lead us to life change – obedience. Yes, the people are happy to be back in Jerusalem, observing the customs and festivals prescribed in the Law. But their real joy comes from being in the center of God’s plan for them.

There is joy in obedience.

There is joy in understanding God’s Word.

There is joy in weakness.

Come, Lord Jesus. Make our joy complete by infusing us with your Spirit and your perspective.

• In which of these three areas have you experienced joy? Where is it a particular challenge? How could you bring that to God in prayer this week?

• Read John 16:17-24, James 1:2-4, and 1 Peter 1:3-9. What are the catalysts that lead these writers to direct us to respond with joy? How is that possible? What does that look like in your life?

• When is joy most difficult for you to identify? Where can you go in Scripture to give you encouragement or information you may benefit from in your spiritual journey?

Stimulus and Response

You may be familiar with the terms “stimulus and response” from science or psychology classes you’ve taken over the years. Pavlov and his slobbering dogs, fight or flight reactions, and foot in mouth syndrome are all examples of instinctual and learned behaviors by organisms (animals and people) in reaction to some stimulus, or change in their environment. Sometimes the reactions are appropriate and the response fits perfectly with the stimulus. Other times (I’m thinking of how many times I didn’t stop to think about what I was going to say in the heat of the moment and stuck my foot in my mouth) the response time needs an extension for the environment of the organisms involved to improve.

Nehemiah gives us a beautiful picture of prolonging that precious time between stimulus and response to allow God to enter into our circumstances and interject His perfect perspective before we respond. We’re going to walk through a bigger chunk of Scripture for this lesson so we don’t miss the progression of Nehemiah’s situation. Here’s the setup:

¹ The words of Nehemiah son of Hacaliah:

In the month of Kislev in the twentieth year, while I was in the citadel of Susa, ²Hanani, one of my brothers, came from Judah with some other men, and I questioned them about the Jewish remnant that survived the exile, and also about Jerusalem.

³ They said to me, "Those who survived the exile and are back in the province are in great trouble and disgrace. The wall of Jerusalem is broken down, and its gates have been burned with fire."

⁴ When I heard these things, I sat down and wept. For some days I mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven. (Nehemiah 1:1-4)

Some historical context may be in order. A this point the exile that many Old Testament prophets had spoken of has happened and Nehemiah is in Susa, one of the Persian cities where the king, Artaxerxes, has a palace. Nehemiah is Jewish, and in the service of the Persian king. Some Jews had already begun to return to Jerusalem to rebuild the temple under the direction of Ezra around 538 B.C. Hanani, another Jew who had been to Jerusalem to know what condition it was in, gave a pretty discouraging report to Nehemiah concerning the state of the city walls and its inhabitants. And despite the fact that Nehemiah must have been in a foreign land in exile for some time at this point, he still has an emotional connection to the capital city of his faith, as is evidenced by his emotional reaction to the news Hanani brings. So far, fairly relatable, wouldn’t you say? Nehemiah gets bad news and cries over it. In fact the sadness and heaviness of what he’s heard lingers for days. That’s happened to me before. You? So what does Nehemiah do next?

⁵ Then I said:

"O LORD, God of heaven, the great and awesome God, who keeps his covenant of love with those who love him and obey his commands, ⁶ let your ear be attentive and your eyes open to hear the prayer your servant is praying before you day and night for your servants, the people of Israel. I confess the sins we Israelites, including myself and my father's house, have committed against you. ⁷ We have acted very wickedly toward you. We have not obeyed the commands, decrees and laws you gave your servant Moses.

⁸ "Remember the instruction you gave your servant Moses, saying, 'If you are unfaithful, I will scatter you among the nations, ⁹ but if you return to me and obey my commands, then even if your exiled people are at the farthest horizon, I will gather them from there and bring them to the place I have chosen as a dwelling for my Name.'

¹⁰ "They are your servants and your people, whom you redeemed by your great strength and your mighty hand. ¹¹ O Lord, let your ear be attentive to the prayer of this your servant and to the prayer of your servants who delight in revering your name. Give your servant success today by granting him favor in the presence of this man." I was cupbearer to the king. (Nehemiah 1:5-11)

Nehemiah cries, then he prays. Ever done that? Me, too. How he prays is worth looking at, but we’ll save that for another time. Look at how Nehemiah interacts with the king now that he’s all prayed up for his confrontation:

2 ¹ In the month of Nisan in the twentieth year of King Artaxerxes, when wine was brought for him, I took the wine and gave it to the king. I had not been sad in his presence before; ² so the king asked me, "Why does your face look so sad when you are not ill? This can be nothing but sadness of heart."

I was very much afraid, ³ but I said to the king, "May the king live forever! Why should my face not look sad when the city where my fathers are buried lies in ruins, and its gates have been destroyed by fire?" (Nehemiah 2:1-3)

Artaxerxes must be Persian for “reads people well”. Or could it be that he was particularly observant because God was answering Nehemiah’s prayer about granting him favor in the king’s presence? Regardless of the reason, Nehemiah is emboldened to respond transparently to the king, undoubtedly encouraged by his time in God’s Presence before the conversation began. But here’s the slow motion stimulus-response scenario that puts me to shame:

⁴ The king said to me, "What is it you want?" Then I prayed to the God of heaven, ⁵ and I answered the king, "If it pleases the king and if your servant has found favor in his sight, let him send me to the city in Judah where my fathers are buried so that I can rebuild it." (Nehemiah 2:4-5)

The king asks a crucial question. “What do you want?” And before Nehemiah blurts out a plan he may have even felt quite certain that God had put in his heart, aware of the inherent risk of being turned down, he goes back to God, mid-conversation, before responding. Take a moment to drink in this wisdom from the king’s cupbearer: Then I prayed to the God of heaven, and I answered. How frequently does that occur in your emotionally charged conversations with people? I can tell you that it’s not nearly often enough in mine. But I’m challenged to try it when I see how it worked out for Nehemiah. Take a look:

⁶ Then the king, with the queen sitting beside him, asked me, "How long will your journey take, and when will you get back?" It pleased the king to send me; so I set a time.

Success! Now, I need to tell you that the rest of the book of Nehemiah doesn’t exactly depict an effortless endeavor without opposition. However, it does give a dramatic picture of a leader determined to follow through on the plan God has allowed him to put into place, in spite of the opposition, because his life’s pattern is one that consults God frequently, even if it means stopping to re-evaluate in the midst of a conversation.

How much of what Nehemiah models is present in your interactions with people?

• Process: Nehemiah pauses to acknowledge and process very real emotions as a reaction to his sad news. He takes the time necessary to identify his sadness and grieve over the circumstances.

• Praise: Going to God immediately with an honest heart was significant to the events that followed for Nehemiah. It is no different with us. After a time of wallowing, we do well to get some perspective from God by giving Him glory for who He is. When we are reminded of His power, His sovereignty and His love for us, our emotions become aligned with the truth of our situation as He sees it.

• Proceed: Once Nehemiah heard from God and was certain of His plan, he had courage to propose the idea to the king. Ready for action once he had clarified his priorities and connected with God, Nehemiah has the courage to speak boldly to restore God’s city to its former glory. We were not given a spirit of timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline, the apostle Paul tells Timothy. (2 Timothy 1:7) With God’s blessing, we can be bold!

• Pause: the most important step of Nehemiah’s progression here is that he went back to God at every turn, relying on Him to navigate the potentially tricky conversation. There is almost always time to take a deep breath and say a quick prayer for the right words or instantaneous laryngitis. God will honor those prayers and help us keep our words full of grace and respect.

As human beings we are not obligated to live our lives solely by instinct. We can learn behaviors that stretch that time between our stimuli and our responses. And when we do, God can enter into our everyday lives to guide us and mold us into His image. And we’ll spend less time regretting hasty words or actions because God’s Spirit is prompting us along the way. Thanks be to God!

• Read Nehemiah 1:5-11. What elements do you notice in his prayer? How can you use that model to refresh your prayer life when communicating to God this week?

• What ways have you discovered to invite God into everyday situations that you face? In what areas might you need to discover some new ways?

• How natural is it for you to process and / or identify raw emotions with God in prayer when you are feeling intensely about a situation? How can Nehemiah’s example encourage you in that area? If you know someone who models this well, you may want to talk with her this week about how she does it.

Little Man in Jericho

I was surprised to learn this week that my husband did not grow up learning, “Zacchaeus was a wee little man and a wee little man was he. He climbed up in the sycamore tree for the Lord he wanted to see. And when the Savior passed his way, He looked up in the tree. And He said, Zacchaeus, you come down. For I’m coming to your house today… for I’m coming to your house today.” Was it a Lutheran Sunday School thing?

Because I’ve known the story of Zacchaeus all my life, it’s always a challenge not to skim over it when I come across it in my devotional time. I know he’s a wee little man and that Jesus came to his house. So? But this time God spoke differently to me. Take a look at the story, as if for the first time, and see if you notice anything you may not have seen before:

¹Jesus entered Jericho and was passing through. ²A man was there by the name of Zacchaeus; he was a chief tax collector and was wealthy. ³He wanted to see who Jesus was, but being a short man he could not, because of the crowd. ⁴So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore-fig tree to see him, since Jesus was coming that way.

⁵When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, "Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today." ⁶So he came down at once and welcomed him gladly.

⁷All the people saw this and began to mutter, "He has gone to be the guest of a 'sinner.' "

⁸But Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, "Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount."

⁹Jesus said to him, "Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham. ¹⁰For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost."

(Luke 19:1-10)

Zacchaeus was a tax collector living in Jericho during the days of Jesus’ ministry on earth. The city was prominent and strategic in the Roman world at the time this story takes place. And the people there were no stranger to up and coming religious preachers, as John the Baptist had been ministering at the Jordan River within sight of Jericho. Zacchaeus was certainly aware of the spiritual climate among the people from whom he collected taxes, and Jesus’ visit to the city would have caused curiosity, at the very least.

What does Zacchaeus have to show us about interacting with Jesus? Here are a few things God brought to my attention:

1) Jesus took the initiative. He always does. He came to where Zacchaeus was and had clearly already been working in his heart for the response to be so dramatic once they finally met. He entered the home of a ‘sinner’ and praised his faith. Zacchaeus’ sin didn’t threaten Jesus’ holiness and neither does ours. He seeks us and wants us to understand and love Him.

2) Zacchaeus had a positive response to Jesus. He ran ahead (verse 4), he came down at once and welcomed Him gladly (verse 6). Do I joyfully anticipate God’s activity? Am I excited to spend time with Him? Or have I become calloused, complacent or contemptuous enough to be distracted with other activities while my Savior passes by?

3) His priorities shifted immediately. Look at how quickly Zach relinquishes his hold on what must have been a very lucrative career fleecing the people while collecting taxes for Rome: “Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount.” Hebrew law required that full value + 1/5 be given in restitution for wrongfully gotten gain. (Numbers 5:6-7) But when Jesus touches our hearts, He often sets the bar above and beyond the legalistic rules we’re accustomed to following, and when our relationship with Him is what it should be, that doesn’t seem too much.

4) Zacchaeus’ transformation demonstrates God’s purpose. Jesus takes great joy in announcing that salvation has come to the house He has visited because of Zacchaeus’ faith, evidenced by his actions. Jesus came to save the lost, not pat the righteous on the back. When one of those lost souls fully grasps Jesus’ identity and experiences His love and forgiveness, they are eternally changed. That’s God’s business.

Do you see yourself in Zacchaeus? He is open to Jesus’ activity in his life. He welcomes Jesus into where he lives and is willing to sacrifice what is most precious to him to show his gratitude. He anticipates Jesus being around and looks for His Presence. In his understanding of Jesus, Zacchaeus is willing to come down from his perch where he observes Jesus, and enters into an authentic relationship where he takes the risk to be changed. Honestly, I have lots of days when I’m content to just gaze at Jesus from afar, contemplating His character and potential activity, but doing nothing myself to come closer and take the risk that I may have to change. I think God’s calling me to more. I want the enthusiasm and openness to welcome Jesus into every area of my life and jump with both feet into what He has for me. Don’t you?

• Read Matthew 12:33 and James 2:17. How do these verses relate to Zacchaeus and his experience with Jesus? How do you see it play out in your own life?

• Read Luke 23:39-43. What does the man talking to Jesus have in common with Zacchaeus? How is he different?

• How would you describe your attitude toward Jesus recently? Have you been anticipating time in His Presence? Are you gazing from a safe distance or are you ready and willing to come to where He is, at His invitation, to fully engage in life as He intends you to?

• Are there any areas of your life that need restitution? People you’ve wronged in the past? Half-truths that need to be clarified for the health of a relationship? Ask God to give you specific direction as to what that might look like.

Trepidation or Comfort?

Have you ever watched NCIS or CSI(name of city here) and had them NOT discover the identity of the unsub (That’s unidentified subject of an investigation, for you civilians)? It’s astounding, isn’t it, that they piece together the clues – the DNA, testimony, profiles, etc. – in an hour every time. No fiber, idiosyncrasy, or phony alibi gets past the brilliant minds of the detectives on the job. Just try to put one over on them. You can’t. They’ll get you every time. And the victims are justified and the file is closed on another perp.

Depending on where you sit on any given episode, you may be filled with trepidation that someone you’re coming to like will get nailed for a crime, or you’re cheering for the ones in the white lab coats to shed light on the facts to determine the truth. But eventually we all know that the truth will come out and the mystery will be solved.

Real life is like that, too. Whether we’re trying to cover up truth and hide it from someone else or ourselves, the secrets will be unveiled and God sees everything. That can cause trepidation or comfort, depending on the stories we tell ourselves. Look at Jesus’ words to His disciples during a teaching time:

²There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. ³What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight, and what you have whispered in the ear in the inner rooms will be proclaimed from the roofs. (Luke 12:2-3)

Jesus was warning the disciples against the twisted teachings of the Pharisees, which He compared to yeast, working its way through the whole loaf of bread. That was probably a comfort to the disciples, knowing that even though the men in charge of communicating God’s law were making a mockery of it, God knew and His truth and will would prevail. It’s a call to integrity for our own lives and a call to surrender to God’s sovereignty when it comes to others’.

Compare Jesus’ words to His disciples with the following verses:

⁷ Where can I go from your Spirit?

Where can I flee from your presence?

⁸ If I go up to the heavens, you are there;

if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

⁹ If I rise on the wings of the dawn,

if I settle on the far side of the sea,

¹⁰ even there your hand will guide me,

your right hand will hold me fast.

¹¹ If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me

and the light become night around me,"

¹² even the darkness will not be dark to you;

the night will shine like the day,

for darkness is as light to you. (Psalm 139:7-12)

⁸For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light ⁹(for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) ¹⁰and find out what pleases the Lord. ¹¹Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. ¹²For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. ¹³But everything exposed by the light becomes visible…(Ephesians 5:8-13)

Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account. (Hebrews 4:13)

But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. (Matthew 6:6)

God sees and knows everything. Is this good news or bad news? I guess it depends on how we’re living our lives and how we’re relating to those around us. It’s comforting to know that God sees all the manipulating and hurtful things other people do to me, but I’m less excited to know that all of my sinful thoughts and actions are laid bare before my God and Judge, too, you know?

Here’s a newsflash: Things happen in life that are outside of our control. I know. Take a minute to let it sink in. But the corollary is more comforting: Nothing happens outside of God’s control. That’s what sovereignty means. It’s all part of His bigger plan. He sees it all and nothing shocks Him or causes Him to panic. For us, seeing it all does nothing but bring shock and panic. Do you want to be smart or happy? Ignorance really is bliss. Not so for God.

So if everything I think, say, do, or feel is already known by God, why do I try to hide these things from Him? It makes sense that I should try to edit some of the information I leak to people around me, but it’s not logical or helpful (or honest, for that matter) to hide them from God. Everything exposed by light (Jesus = the light of the world) becomes visible. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before Him. Our Father sees what is done in secret. He lets light in to the dark, hidden places in our hearts to reveal our motivation and transform us into the image of Christ. If we can grasp that concept, it can liberate us instead of causing shame and trepidation. Yes, He sees and knows the ugliest part of our hearts on our worst day; but His love is bigger and He wants us to be more. He wants to free us to become the very best version of who He created us to be.

On the flip side, I can release my concern over others’ behavior because that will be exposed and laid bare before God, too. I am not personally responsible for outing every sinner and mean person I encounter. Because of God’s omniscience (He knows everything), I am released from the burden of being a spiritual tattle-tale and I can let God’s Spirit do what He does best in people’s hearts: bring transformation. Then I am free to hear from God myself and take the plank out of my own eye so I can see clearly to help my brother take the speck out of his. (Matthew 7:5)

Search me, O God, and know my heart. Illuminate the darkness with your loving light and truth. Release me from my self-imposed burdens and show me your glory.

• Which is a more immediate concern for you – being honest with God about your own inner issues or stressing over what others seem to be getting away with? Is it a combination of both? How can these verses help direct you toward God’s truth in this area?

• How does the concept of shouting truths from rooftops and shining light on issues play into evangelism? Is there an area of your walk with Christ where God may be calling you to shed some light in a bold way? Pray about who God may be leading you to share your story with.

• Do you experience trepidation (anxiety, tension, etc.) over the concept of God seeing everything in your heart or does it bring you comfort? What significant encounters with God have brought you to that place?