Identity - Relationships

Premise: The quality of relationships in my life depends on my understanding and living out the identity I have in Christ.

As Galinda says of Elphaba in “Wicked”… “She had a mother. She had a father. As so many do…” Strictly biologically speaking, we are all daughters, born of the union of sperm and egg, entering this world at a time not of our choosing, into a family not of our choosing. You may have grown up with all kinds of issues with your parents – there may have been abuse, neglect, divorce, sickness, or just ordinary personality differences that made life in your house a particular challenge. Some of you may have spent your formative years in familial utopia, with parents who stayed married and didn’t get sick and die when you were young. You may have always known emotional and financial stability and enjoyed good communication with your parents. And every combination of these scenarios probably exists in this room. That’s life. God, in His sovereign wisdom, places us in the family He chooses for us and we grow up with the parents He ordained. That makes us, practically speaking, daughters.

I remember distinctly the day I officially became an adult daughter to my father. It happened in one conversation on the front porch of a house we were moving into. I was in my 30’s – late by many standards, I know. My dad had been frustrated at various parts of the day, including the fact that I was not completely packed and ready to move when he arrived that morning. Doubling his frustration was the fact that when we arrived at the new house, the former owner hadn’t moved out completely yet. Awkward. So, he sighed. A lot. And exhibited other behavior that let me know, without letting me know, that this did not work for him. So, like any mature, married adult with a child and a mortgage, I began to cry. Because my father wasn’t pleased with me. But instead of just crying, I told him that I was frustrated, too, and that I would love his help, but if he was going to act the way he was acting, I’d rather he left and I would figure out a way to do all of it myself. His demeanor changed immediately and that one conversation not only changed the day, it changed our relationship. Like I said, I became an adult to him that day.

The reason I’m telling you this story is because I believe it’s part of the process God wants to take us through to have a clear understanding of the importance of our relationship to Him and the relative importance of every other relationship. Let me show you something in Scripture. Look at these verses from Matthew 10. Here, Jesus is giving some perspective on relationships.

³⁴ “Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. ³⁵ For I have come to turn

“‘a man against his father, 


a daughter against her mother, 


a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law— 


³⁶ a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’

³⁷ “Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; ³⁸ and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. ³⁹ Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

Why would Jesus make it sound as though we’re NOT to value relationships when so much of Scripture seems to put a high value on them? God is relationship. Why would He say that His purpose in coming was to bring a sword and that we’re not worthy of Him if we love our own parents too much? Is there something we’re not understanding? I have a feeling there is. And I have a suggestion in light of this topic.

What if Jesus wants us to so clearly and unmistakably identify with Him alone that even our parents and siblings - our very family of origin - will be less of an identification for us than He is? What if a relationship with Him – fully comprehending and surrendering to who He says we are – will transform our view of ourselves so radically that no other relationship will ever have such a strong influence in our lives again? And what if that’s meant to be a good thing? A liberating and empowering thing? But it’s not easy. It’s a constant battle between our old values and priorities and what Jesus is calling us to. So it doesn’t feel like peace, but a struggle.

Jesus is referencing verses in the Old Testament book of Micah that His listeners may have been familiar with. It’s referring to a time when God’s prophet is encouraging the people not to trust their neighbors or their families – just turn to and listen to God. And Jesus is saying something similar, I believe. Don’t allow yourselves to be defined by where you were born or who raised you. Let me completely redefine you in a way that only I can do because I created you.

Let’s look at a passage in the book of Ezekiel. It’s one of the most vivid books of the Bible in terms of imagery that God uses to capture the message Ezekiel has been commissioned to deliver. These verses in chapter 16 have to do with God choosing and loving the nation of Israel. And when God talks about His chosen people, we can draw analogies to our own lives since we are His chosen people because of what Jesus did. This is a picture of how God gives value and significance – and identity – to His own.

^“4 On the day you were born your cord was not cut, nor were you washed with water to make you clean, nor were you rubbed with salt or wrapped in cloths. ⁵ No one looked on you with pity or had compassion enough to do any of these things for you. Rather, you were thrown out into the open field, for on the day you were born you were despised.

⁶ “‘Then I passed by and saw you kicking about in your blood, and as you lay there in your blood I said to you, “Live!” ⁷ I made you grow like a plant of the field. You grew and developed and entered puberty. Your breasts had formed and your hair had grown, yet you were stark naked.

⁸ “‘Later I passed by, and when I looked at you and saw that you were old enough for love, I spread the corner of my garment over you and covered your naked body. I gave you my solemn oath and entered into a covenant with you, declares the Sovereign LORD, and you became mine.

⁹ “‘I bathed you with water and washed the blood from you and put ointments on you. ¹⁰ I clothed you with an embroidered dress and put sandals of fine leather on you. I dressed you in fine linen and covered you with costly garments. ¹¹ I adorned you with jewelry: I put bracelets on your arms and a necklace around your neck, ¹² and I put a ring on your nose, earrings on your ears and a beautiful crown on your head. ¹³ So you were adorned with gold and silver; your clothes were of fine linen and costly fabric and embroidered cloth. Your food was honey, olive oil and the finest flour. You became very beautiful and rose to be a queen. ¹⁴ And your fame spread among the nations on account of your beauty, because the splendor I had given you made your beauty perfect, declares the Sovereign LORD. (Ezekiel 16:4-14)

God cared for His people. He cleansed them. He gave them love and beauty and value. He gave them life. They were lost and like everyone else, just trying to survive and make a name for themselves. But God made them unique and brought them into relationship with the Creator of the Universe. He does it for us, too. And just like the nation of Israel, we forget who we were created to be and who we were created for. And we take what He’s given us and pour it into other relationships before the one we have with Him. And then we depend on other people to give us value and beauty and significance and identity.

And just like we are daughters to our parents in a biological and practical sense, we are daughters and creations of our heavenly Father, and that identity must trump all others.

Let’s look again at parts of this passage in Ezekiel and see what God did for the Israelites in their wilderness and what God has done for us through Jesus.

1. God gives us life. This passage describes vividly the way God saved and gave life to His people, Israel. “⁶I passed by and saw you kicking about in your blood, and as you lay there in your blood I said to you, ‘Live!’” God completed the picture by sending a perfect sacrifice for our sin, as we lay dying and kicking in our wilderness. All of us, before our eyes are opened to the real gospel truth that we are sinners and enemies of God, try, in our own inadequate ways, to live our lives for ourselves. And we are just kicking about in our own blood. “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8) God gives us life.

2. God gives us love. In addition to saving Israel from destruction, God instituted a redeeming covenant of love as her identity. Look how it’s described by Ezekiel: “⁸Later I passed by, and when I looked at you and saw that you were old enough for love, I spread the corner of my garment over you and covered your nakedness. I gave you my solemn oath and entered into a covenant with you, declares the Sovereign LORD, and you became mine”. You became mine. Covenant love. God took the initiative to love His people out of the abundance of His goodness, not because the nation of Israel – or we – deserve it or did anything to earn it. And He made the covenant complete by sacrificing His only Son to redeem us once and for all from sin and death. 1 John 3:1says, “How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” When we are ready, in His perfect timing, God reveals Himself to us and brings people into our lives to refine us and give us opportunities to learn to love like He does. But we can only do that because of the way He loves. God gives us life and He gives us love.

3. God gives us beauty and value. The next few verses of this chapter in Ezekiel give us a lovely picture of the inestimable worth and incomparable beauty we have as daughters of God. ⁹ “‘I bathed you with water and washed the blood from you and put ointments on you. ¹⁰ I clothed you with an embroidered dress and put sandals of fine leather on you. I dressed you in fine linen and covered you with costly garments. ¹¹ I adorned you with jewelry: I put bracelets on your arms and a necklace around your neck, ¹² and I put a ring on your nose, earrings on your ears and a beautiful crown on your head. ¹³ So you were adorned with gold and silver; your clothes were of fine linen and costly fabric and embroidered cloth. Your food was honey, olive oil and the finest flour. You became very beautiful and rose to be a queen. ¹⁴ And your fame spread among the nations on account of your beauty, because the splendor I had given you made your beauty perfect, declares the Sovereign LORD. God covers our nakedness, giving us warmth and love in relationship, and then He gives us beautiful clothes to wear and jewels of great value. Costly garments and fine linen and embroidered cloth. Gold and silver and a beautiful crown. What lovely symbols of beauty and value for women who belong to a king! Paul told the Corinthian Christians that they had been bought at a price - Jesus. Jesus Himself told His disciples that they were worth more than many sparrows and that God knew them so intimately that even the hairs of their heads were numbered. Peter encouraged the women of his congregation not to depend on their outward beauty of clothing and jewelry to be beautiful. God alone has given us this beauty and inherent value because we belong to Him – not because of any outward adornment. In the context of the life and love God gives us, He gives us beauty and value.

So as daughters of a king who loves us and created us, we have a very solid identity. We have been given new life. We are loved perfectly. And we have profound beauty and value. All because of our relationship with God. And that relationship defines us more than any other. If we look at some of the other words in our identity puzzle – words like sister or friend – there are both practical and spiritual levels to them. If you are in a covenant relationship with Christ and are trusting Him alone for your strength and salvation, you are my sister. If you have siblings, you are also a sister. Several of you in here have relationships with each other that challenge and encourage – you are friends. The Bible also says we are friends with God because of Christ. But even the healthiest and most solid and noble relationships are imperfect because they’re between sinners. Those relationships will bring us great joy and heart-breaking disappointment. So will our relationship with God, if we’re honest with ourselves.

The difference is that our relationship with God, through Jesus, has only one sinner in it.

Me.

Because of Jesus I can come to God’s throne with confidence and approach Him as my Father. And that is the only identity that will never change. It’s who we are and what we live for. He’s the One who determines our priorities, soothes our broken hearts and allows us to soar with the eagles.

So how does that play out, practically speaking, in our lives?

• We examine our hearts. Psalm 139 ends with some dangerous, but liberating verses:

“Search me, O God, and know my heart;

test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting.” (Ps. 139:23-24)

As we spend time seeking God’s truth and listening to His voice, He will reveal relationships that have too high a priority in our lives or ways in which we are using the life, love, beauty, and value He’s given us to build the wrong relationships. He will be clear and He will speak loving truth. We just need to be still and listen.

• We repent and surrender. Once God reveals Himself and His directives for our lives, we must respond. I recently had this experience as God revealed to me that I was placing too much emphasis on my relationship with my husband. He had become an idol to me as I was spending more of my time, emotion, and energy trying to win his approval and less of my time trying to pour into my relationship with God and the people He’d put into my life to teach them about Him. He reassured me that His love for me was secure and that His was the only relationship that mattered. Once I returned my primary focus to Him, the rest of my relationships began to fall into place.

• We learn and remind ourselves of truth. Once we’ve asked God to reveal the imbalance in our relationships and we turn from our wrong thinking and behaviors, we must be diligent in learning and remembering what God says is true. This happens by reading Scripture and listening to God on a consistent basis. He tells us and reminds us of who we are and how to cultivate relationships that bring Him glory. The sheet for tonight has several verses for a good start and your folders have many, many more.

Ultimately, as we serve a God of relationship who desires truth in our inmost parts, we can trust Him to reveal to us what we need to love Him better and improve our other relationships as well.

Listen to the words of C. S. Lewis as it relates to this topic:

“When I have learnt to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now. In so far as I learn to love my earthly dearest at the expense of God and instead of God, I shall be moving towards the state in which I shall not love my earthly dearest at all. When first things are put first, second things are not suppressed but increased.” (Letters of C. S. Lewis, 1966)

If we seek Him first, not forsaking our first love, He will add depth and joy to our other relationships as well because we can build those relationships out of the surplus of the God-confidence we have in our identities. I am free to give and not take when I’m sure of who I am. On the other hand, when we strive primarily after other relationships, allowing them to tell us who we are and what we’re worth, no one wins. There is no substitute for the foundation God has given us in Jesus Christ. We have been given life. We have been given love. And we have been given beauty and value. These can’t come from any other source but God. That’s why as we look for our identities, we need to stay focused on the ones that are true for eternity: We are accepted. Holy. Redeemed. Loved. Valued. Chosen.

In short, we are daughters of a king. That is our identity. So let’s remind ourselves and each other at every opportunity of the truth of who we are. We have been given life, love, beauty and value to live the lives He’s called us to live for Him. He is the King of kings and we are His daughters. You know what that makes you, don’t you? A princess! Yes! So wear that crown of jewels loud and proud! It represents your life in Christ. The love of your Father, the King. And the beauty and value He has given you because you are His. No other identity matters.

Candy Hoarder

I had a rather unattractive character flaw revealed to me this week.

After dinner, my husband was rooting around in what we call the "snack drawer". It's where we keep our stash of Oreos and Cheez-its, etc. It's the drawer all my teenage son's friends gravitate toward when they come over - especially the ones with conscientious parents who don't buy those things. I'm corrupting

them.

Anyway, he found the candy I had put there from my Christmas stocking. Reese's cups, Butterfingers, Twix, and Snickers. Yum. Per my very specific request, they were dropped off by Santa on Christmas Eve, and now that the Christmas decor is put away, I put the contents of my stocking in the snack drawer.

When my husband discovered them, he asked who wanted which candy for dessert.

"Uhhh...That's my stocking candy," I pointed out.

"All of this?" he asked, as if he didn't remember buying it and placing it in my stocking himself.

"Yeah. MY candy."

"Ok. I'll have Oreos," he replied.

Later, when I noticed his mood had changed considerably, I asked him if he was mad that I wouldn't share my candy. His response?

"I just can't believe how quickly such nastiness comes out of your mouth."

Ouch.

A short time later God spoke as clearly to me as He has ever done, telling me that the candy was like the gifts He gives to me. They're from Him (like the candy was from Tony) and in my selfishness, I don't want to share. I couldn't believe it! Tony went to work and earned the money and went to the store and bought the candy and put it in my stocking. And I claimed it as MINE? Really?

In what ways do I do that with what God's given me? With my possessions? With my time? With my talents? Everything I have is from Him! It should inspire me to give generously and to lay all my plans before my Father and hold all things loosely.

But I don't.

So I repented in tears on the edge of our tub and then went to the drawer to get the Twix bars that were there, which are my husband's favorite. I placed them under the pillow on his side of the bed with a note that said, "I'm sorry. Will U 4-give me?"

When he discovered them that night, he laughed and took me in his arms and said that, yes, he would forgive me.

That's grace.

Fully Equipped

I recently traded in my car for a new one. We live on a fairly steep incline and my son and his friends snowboard and mountain bike, so my creamy sedan was just not cutting it. Wet, muddy teenage boys are now welcome in my all-wheel drive vehicle.

As we shopped for cars, we were intrigued by the many features that were available for safety and comfort. Air bags are now standard. Stereo quality varies. Some have navigation systems and some are bluetooth ready. The question becomes: which equipment am I willing to pay extra for?

After a while, I was tempted to believe that I deserved or needed certain features. What if I get lost? Shouldn't I have a GPS for safety? When I have to leave my car outside overnight, shouldn't I be able to rely on a speedy and efficient way to heat my posterior? And if fresh air is so good for me, doesn't it make sense to let more of it in through the sun roof? Please. It's not like we get a lot of those sunny days here to let in through the roof anyway...

Do you know what that attitude is called? It's called entitlement. If you listen to talk radio or have teenagers, you might be familiar with this concept. It's the idea that, by virtue of my very existence, I am entitled to certain rights, possessions, or comfort. We hope our kids grow out of it and it's not a biblical value. But it is in our human, carnal nature to want more. And to think we should get it. And if we're Christians, we sometimes think God owes us.

He doesn't.

Look at this passage from Paul's letter to the Corinthian Christians, as he describes what we've already been given:

"...in him you have been enriched in every way -- in all your speaking and in all your knowledge -- because our testimony about Christ was confirmed in you. Therefore you do not lack any spiritual gift as you eagerly wait for our Lord Jesus Christ to be revealed. He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful." (1 Corinthians 1:5-9)

Huh. We have been enriched in every way. We do not lack any spiritual gift. In other words, spiritually speaking, we are fully loaded. Every and any are pretty absolute words. And, lest we forget, these blessings are brought to you by our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. At no cost to us. It cost Him His life.

So what difference does that make in the life of a believer? How does it change our attitudes and behaviors to know that we are fully equipped to live the life He's called us to live?

For one, I think we can walk with a profound sense of freedom and confidence. We are complete. Our security and identity rests in our God, who cannot be shaken and to whom all creation belongs and submits. He will make us and keep us strong. He will empower us to speak words of truth and encouragement.

Secondly, I hope it tweaks our priorities as we remember that we have already been given more than we deserve and our focus should be on pleasing, thanking, and living in wholehearted devotion to the One who gave it to us.

Lastly, we can remember that if we don't have it, we don't need it. God is sovereign and generous in His loving provision.

As we begin a new year, we can be encouraged by the fact that God has indeed "blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ". (Ephesians 1:3) We are complete and fully equipped to live for Him. Lord, let it be so. Amen.

Faithflight - Identity

The movie The Bourne Identity opens with the scene of a man in a wetsuit floating in the middle of the ocean, a red light attached to him, blinking in the darkness. No one, including the man himself, knows who he is or how he got there, but once he’s pulled into a fishing boat and given some money and clothes on shore in France, the quest for his identity begins. Flashbacks of random scenes and intuitive reactions interrupt his amnesia, but he really only catches a glimpse of his complicated situation when he finds himself in a bank in Switzerland staring at a safety deposit box full of all kinds of currency and multiple passports, all with his picture and different names and nationalities. Is he Russian? Portuguese? American? British? And how will he learn his own story?

In many ways we are all like Jason Bourne. Going through life with glimpses of who God created us to be, but also faced with confusing information from the world around us. Sometimes that information clarifies our identity. Sometimes it becomes a distraction.

But the truth is that we were created uniquely and beautifully for the glory of our Father and Creator. And the closer we live to that identity, the freer we are to help others discover their identities and to walking in the truth and fullness that God designed for us.

But what is that identity? If we have responded to God’s invitation to a relationship through His Son Jesus Christ, the Bible has some very encouraging and clear things to say about who we are.

• We are His children. 1 John 3:1 says, “How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” We are adopted as children into the family of our Heavenly Father when we enter into a relationship with Christ. We are siblings with one perfect Father and there is confidence that comes in that sense of belonging.

• We are a new creation. 2 Corinthians 5:17 tells us that we are an entirely new creation – the old has gone the new has come. Identity exchange! We are not merely upgrades of our pre-Christians selves; we are completely other! We can lean on that when the enemy of our souls tries to convince us that we are still stuck in the past.

• We are heirs of eternal riches. Romans 8:16-17: “The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. ¹⁷ Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ…”This is for now! Just like we don’t have to wait for eternal life to begin at our death, the riches and blessing of God’s kingdom can be enjoyed while we’re still living!

• We are fully equipped to live life for God. 2 Peter 1:3 – “His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.” The only thing standing in the way of us living our lives fully for God is us. If we can grab hold of the identity God has for us, and press into Him and the guidance of the Holy Spirit, there is no limit to what we can accomplish for Him!

• We are chosen and holy, and we belong to God. 1 Peter 2:9-10 – “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. ¹⁰ Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.” Need I say more? This is who we are!

• We are precious, honored, loved, and created or God’s glory. God told the prophet Isaiah that His people are His. Precious and honored in His sight. That He loves us and that we are called by His name, created for His glory. (Isaiah 43:1,4,7)

I don’t know about you, but I don’t always live my life as if I belong to God, as a precious heir of heavenly things. Like I’m chosen, called out of darkness and into light, created for God’s glory. I’m not sure what identity I live out from day to day, but it falls short of this one.

I want to examine an Old Testament example of identity exchange. The story in the book of Hosea. You may know the story: God tells Hosea to marry an adulterous wife (the ESV calls her “a wife of whoredom”) and to raise children with her. Gomer was a whore when Hosea married her and she continues her promiscuous ways while they are married. God’s point is to make an example of Gomer to show the Israelites how they are breaking His heart in turning away from Him and clinging to idols and disobedience.

In the course of their marriage there are children born. Because they are children of this adulterous woman who can’t remain faithful to Hosea, God tells Hosea to name them Jezreel (Hebrew for “God sows” and significant because of battles where blood had been shed and God would avenge the northern kingdom), “Not loved”, and “Not my people”. But even then, God tells Hosea that He will change the name of his children to reflect their new identities: They will be loved, redeemed, and receive mercy. Just like the people of Israel. There is hope and redemption for those who come to God and accept what He says is true about them. Just like for us.

Take a look at Hosea chapter 2 for a moment with me.

⁷She will chase after her lovers but not catch them;

she will look for them but not find them.

Then she will say,

‘I will go back to my husband as at first,

for then I was better off than now.’

⁸ She has not acknowledged that I was the one

who gave her the grain, the new wine and oil,

who lavished on her the silver and gold—

which they used for Baal.

⁹ “Therefore I will take away my grain when it ripens, and my new wine when it is ready. 
I will take back my wool and my linen, intended to cover her naked body. ¹⁰ So now I will expose her lewdness 
before the eyes of her lovers; 
no one will take her out of my hands. 
¹¹ I will stop all her celebrations: her yearly festivals, her New Moons, her Sabbath days—all her appointed festivals. 
¹² I will ruin her vines and her fig trees, which she said were her pay from her lovers; 
I will make them a thicket, and wild animals will devour them. 
¹³ I will punish her for the days 
she burned incense to the Baals; 
she decked herself with rings and jewelry, and went after her lovers, but me she forgot,” declares the LORD.

¹⁴ “Therefore I am now going to allure her; 
 I will lead her into the wilderness 
 and speak tenderly to her. 
¹⁵ There I will give her back her vineyards, 
and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. 
There she will respond as in the days of her youth, as in the day she came up out of Egypt.

¹⁶ “In that day,” declares the LORD, “you will call me ‘my husband’; 
you will no longer call me ‘my master.’ 
¹⁷ I will remove the names of the Baals from her lips; 
 no longer will their names be invoked. 
¹⁸ In that day I will make a covenant for them with the beasts of the field, the birds in the sky and the creatures that move along the ground. 
Bow and sword and battle I will abolish from the land, so that all may lie down in safety. 
¹⁹ I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. 
²⁰ I will betroth you in faithfulness, 
and you will acknowledge the LORD. ²¹ “In that day I will respond,” declares the LORD— 
“I will respond to the skies, and they will respond to the earth; 
²² and the earth will respond to the grain, the new wine and the olive oil, 
and they will respond to Jezreel. 
²³ I will plant her for myself in the land; I will show my love to the one I called ‘Not my loved one.’ 
I will say to those called ‘Not my people,’ ‘You are my people’; and they will say, ‘You are my God.’” (Hosea 2:9-23)

Not only do Gomer’s children get names according to the identities God has for them; Gomer’s identity is meant to change as well. From a promiscuous woman chasing after the affection and affirmation she craves to a woman betrothed in faithfulness, wooed and romanced by the God of the universe, she exemplifies what God wants to do in all of us. But until Gomer – and until we – acknowledge God and accept the identity He has for us, she – and we – will keep chasing other things to give us a feeling of security and identity that will never last.

This is a message for us. We will live out the identity we believe most strongly. Gomer lived as a whore because she believed that’s all she deserved or wanted out of life. We may live as if all we need is a successful career. Or to be proud of our children’s athletic or academic accomplishments. Or to be highly organized. Or to have the perfect body. A house that Martha Stewart would envy. Or to be active in church leadership. You name it. We cling to it.

Instead, we are meant to walk fully in the knowledge that we are secure in our identities because we belong to God, regardless of our relationships or activities. The rest is a delightful outpouring of the gifts and blessings that God gives us in order to bring Him glory and advance His kingdom purposes. But if we cling too tightly to our false identities we have to ask ourselves questions like:

- If my career is everything to me and I lose my job, do I have less value? Have I lost everything?

- If my children and their accomplishments define me and they fail, do I have less value? Have I lost everything?

- If my house is a wreck, or people don’t like me, or I don’t teach Sunday School well, or if I let people down, do I have less value? Have I lost everything?

The answer has to be a resounding “no”. These things are temporal and out of our control. They affect us, but they don’t define us.

On the other hand, if it’s not true that I am a chosen, holy, loved, precious child of God, betrothed in faithfulness and called by name, created for the glory of my Father, does my value change? Have I lost everything? Yes. Because it is everything and it is eternal.

When my son was in elementary school, one of his friends had a grandmother die of tuberculosis. Since WW II she had been living with 25% lung capacity. How difficult to breathe in the scent of spring lilacs or a baby’s head. How dissatisfying to laugh until you can’t catch your breath, when catching your breath is a daily challenge.

Living outside a full understanding of our identities in Christ is like living with less than full lung capacity. Jesus came so that we would have full and abundant lives in Him. That is only possible if we fully understand and embrace who we were created to be. Uniquely and beautifully knit together in our mother’s womb, we are called by His name to live, breathe and walk fully in the identity – with the name – He has called us.

That’s what this FaithFlight series is going to be about: Letting go of the identities that suffocate and paralyze us, and learning to embrace the only identity that matters and will last for eternity. That of precious and holy daughter of the King.

Big Leaf, Little Leaf...

While out walking today, enjoying the brisk fall air and clearing my head, I came across numerous leaves that had already made their autumn descent to the pavement. One particularly brilliant Japanese maple caused me to stop. It seemed to be more tenacious than the surrounding trees in the neighborhood in holding on to its foliage. While most of the other trees were almost bare, this stubborn and beautiful display of gold and red was only beginning to let go of last season.

As I looked more closely at the ground, I saw that these delicate leaves were exactly the same shape as the enormous leaves of a large maple I had just passed. A tiny, dainty version of the original.

Just like us.

We are made in God's image. He's the original and we were created to be like Him from the beginning of the creation process.

²⁵ God made the wild animals according to their kinds, the livestock according to their kinds, and all the creatures that move along the ground according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good.
²⁶ Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that the

y may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”

²⁷ So God created mankind in his own image,
in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them. (Genesis 1:25-27)

Just like the little maple leaf resembles the big maple leaf, we were knit together in our mother's womb to be a unique and beautiful representation of God's workmanship. (Psalm 139, Ephesians 2:10) We will never be just like God, but there is definitely a family resemblance. As we allow the Holy Spirit to cultivate in us the fruit He wants to grow, people around us will notice the similarities between us and our Father.

We can show love like God. We can be kind. We can sacrifice for others. We can show compassion. So, although, we will never share God's qualities like omniscience or omnipotence, we can look for and emulate those qualities that are within reach and can grow by the power of the Holy Spirit. In so doing, we show the world what God looks like and how He cares for those He created to be in relationship with Him.

Knowing that we are made in God's image also reminds us that when we're unhappy with life's circumstances or relationships in our lives, we are the ones who must adjust to the Maker. God doesn't adjust to us. If He did, He would lose one of His unique characteristics - His immutability - and then He wouldn't be God.

While necessary to the Christian's growth and sanctification process, adjusting to God's perspective isn't easy. But it's crucial to living the abundant life that Jesus promised those who follow Him. When we continually surrender our wills to His and ask Him to examine and transform our hearts, we sense His Presence and we receive strength, wisdom, grace, and mercy to live the life He's called us to live.

He's the big leaf. We're the little leaves.

And when we're connected to our Father, the world will see the resemblance and He can show the world His glory.

Responding to God

I’m discovering that the tone and the words my teenage son uses in responding to me has more to do with his emotions and circumstances than what I’ve actually said in addressing him. I can’t be alone in this epiphany, right? I’ve heard teenagers can be emotionally capricious.

But I’ve also been thinking about my responses. Both to other people and to God when I’m approached. Why can the same words that brought enlightenment one day bring me to tears another? While it’s possible that perimenopausal women can be emotionally capricious, too, I’m thinking it also has something to do with the state of my heart, i.e. whether I’m humbly seeking God and His glory or if I’m wearing myself out with my own agenda.

In reading through the gospel of Luke, I was struck by these very different responses to God’s activity in someone’s life. Admittedly, I found a little of myself in each of them and I wonder if you might, too. Take a look:

¹⁹ But when John rebuked Herod the tetrarch because of his marriage to Herodias, his brother’s wife, and all the other evil things he had done, ²⁰ Herod added this to them all: He locked John up in prison. (Luke 3:19-20)

³⁸ Jesus left the synagogue and went to the home of Simon. Now Simon’s mother-in-law was suffering from a high fever, and they asked Jesus to help her. ³⁹ So he bent over her and rebuked the fever, and it left her. She got up at once and began to wait on them. (Luke 4:38-39)

¹ One day as Jesus was standing by the Lake of Gennesaret, the people were crowding around him and listening to the word of God. ² He saw at the water’s edge two boats, left there by the fishermen, who were washing their nets. ³ He got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, and asked him to put out a little from shore. Then he sat down and taught the people from the boat.

⁴ When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch.”

⁵ Simon answered, “Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.”

⁶ When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break. ⁷ So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them, and they came and filled both boats so full that they began to sink.

⁸ When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’ knees and said, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!” ⁹ For he and all his companions were astonished at the catch of fish they had taken, ¹⁰ and so were James and John, the sons of Zebedee, Simon’s partners.

Then Jesus said to Simon, “Don’t be afraid; from now on you will fish for people.” ¹¹ So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him. (Luke 5:1-11)

In these passages from the gospel of Luke we see three varying responses to God’s activity in someone’s life. Herod was rebuked by John concerning his illicit relationship with his brother’s wife and he had John put in prison. Later, when he is besotted by this same woman’s daughter, he agrees to have John put to death. (Matthew 14:1-12) Herod seems resistant to God’s movement in his life, to say the least. It might be more accurate to say that he’s immune to it and goes to any length to quiet the voices God sends to bring him to repentance.

Simon’s mother was one of many who were physically touched and healed by Jesus when He walked the earth. Her response? She got up at once and began to wait on them. Was this a mere adherence to the accepted customs of the time? Or was it her worshipful response, out of gratitude and understanding, to having God come into her life and relieve her suffering? Was her spontaneous action directly related to her comprehension of the One who had come into her life and responded to her needs?

And what about Simon Peter? This sometimes impetuous, passionate man made his living as a fisherman, going out nightly, looking for a catch to bring in some money. After one of these nights he’s approached by Jesus, who tells him to go out into “deep water”. Different water than Peter had just been in? Or just to try the same thing again with a new attitude? Peter is dubious but has enough faith to try. What he brings in from his act of faith blows away all his preconceived notions and parameters of Jesus’ identity, and it forces Peter to ask for help to carry the abundance Jesus has provided. His response? “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!” In other words, Peter has not only caught boatloads of fish; he’s also caught a glimpse of who Jesus is and who he is in comparison to Him. God’s power and holiness have been revealed and so has Peter’s sin.

How do I respond to God’s movement in my life? When I’m rebuked or when I hear the Holy Spirit whisper words of clear conviction to my heart, do I run or do I embrace the message? When a trusted friend challenges my motivation, do I resist or do I lay it before God and ask Him to reveal the truth so I can be further transformed into His image? Is my consistent response to Jesus’ healing Presence in my life to give Him everything in worshipful service? Or do I hold back because I place too high a priority on my comfort and my agenda? Does my understanding of God’s holiness cause me to fall on my knees in humility when I realize the depth of my sin? Am I even willing to look at it?

Most of us won’t go to Herod’s extremes in his desire to cover or justify his sin. But we may go about it in more subtle and socially acceptable ways. Spending less time or sharing less personal information with people who won’t let us get away with it is one way. We may also just tweak the story a tad to paint ourselves in more flattering light. Sometimes the temptation is to silence the one trying to point out truth by defending ourselves or accusing, maligning or lashing out at them. Purposeful alienation or misrepresentation stems from the same place Herod’s actions did: placing a higher priority on self than on God’s truth.

Conversely, what if we took a page from Simon’s family book and responded to God’s activity in our life – pleasant or not – by looking at our own sin and humbling ourselves in His Presence, worshipping Him in reverence and awe? The process may be painful as we turn our gaze inward so that we can be freed to respond to God with abandon. But the end result will always be deeper understanding, relationship and transformation. What wouldn’t I do to get to that place?