Dilemma

Many mornings I'll open my Bible to where I last left off and determine that I will read until God stops me. Sometimes that turns into reading until somebody in the house wakes up. Sometimes it turns into reading until my coffee is cold. And sometimes it turns into reading until my stomach starts growling. I consider all of those things to fall under the category of "until God stops me".

This morning I sat in my customary Bible-reading chair, coffee cup warm and good intentions in hand. I read exactly 4 verses when God really did stop me. This was the passage:

“What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish." (Matthew 18:12-14)

At an earlier reading of this passage I had written in the margin: "How can I make God happy as one of the 99?" And my thoughts went immediately to the story of the prodigal son and his older, somewhat cantankerous brother. Read the finale of that story and see if you notice a connection between the two:

“Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’

“The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’

“‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’” (Luke 15:25-32)

I've always related to the older brother in this parable and to the sheep that didn't wander. I don't have a dramatic or scandalous past that evokes gasps and wide eyes as I recount it. (As my mother reads this, she'll be happy to know that.) But as I contemplated how to make God happy as an obedient child who doesn't wander off in wicked escapades, He revealed to me this sobering thought:

I was lost and I still wander.

There was a time when I was outside God's family. When I was, as Colossians and Ephesians describe so clearly, an enemy of God, an object of wrath, alone, without hope or God in the world.

He brought me near through the sacrificial death of Jesus. And that was when God rejoiced over me coming into His family. That's when I came back into the family I was created to be a part of.

Then God reminded me (as He has been trying to teach me this over and over again recently) that I still wander. I still follow the wicked inclinations of my heart by putting myself and my comfort above the needs of others. By leaving the intentional time in God's presence to pursue useless and fruitless activities. By tilling the soil of my soul for seeds of resentment and bitterness and judgment against the people in my life. Oh, I still wander alright. And every time I come back He is happy! Do you know why God is happy when we come back to Him?

Because He wants us near Him!

He created us for profound, intimate, continual, and eternal relationship with Him and it breaks His heart when we stray. So I can make God happy as one of the 99 sheep by staying close to Him. And by investing in the lives of those who are not. That's the beauty of community.

The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. Or as John Piper says, to glorify God by enjoying Him forever. There is satisfaction and joy for us and God when we are close.

So when I wander and the Holy Spirit convicts me of it, all that's necessary is a repentant heart. Then the forgiveness Jesus purchased for me on the cross propels me back into the arms of the Good Shepherd. Once again, one of the ninety-nine. Close to the Father. As I was meant to be.