Building a Kingdom

I have to come clean and admit that I'm fully engaged in another Facebook game: Castleville. (Here's a shout out to all my friends in neighboring kingdoms who have been so kind as to visit me and give me shards of exploration crystals and have unwithered my crops. Hollah....)

The tag line on this highly addictive and relatively unproductive game is: Build a happy kingdom with your friends. How could I resist? I mean, who doesn't long to build a happy kingdom with friends? I want a kingdom, of which I am presumably in charge, and I want to have community. So it's perfect, right?

Sure, if all you have to do is complete random quests given to you by Rafael and Yvette by chopping down trees, crafting in your workshop, and destroying beasties who invade your happy kingdom. Then you are set.

However, as I've been contemplating deeper, more spiritual questions, the tag line of Castleville has been reverberating in my mind. As my family and friends have been through some tough church issues in the past few years, I find myself asking the question: what's church for? The realization I've come to is that for most of my adult life I've thought church is to build a happy kingdom with my friends.

It's not.

I heard a fantastic sermon at church this morning entitled: "Life at 2AM - Why are we here?" Our purpose in life is to glorify God, and when we do that in community we build HIS kingdom, not ours. And whether or not our friends are there, we love others and work together in unity to work toward HIS purposes, doing HIS will. It's not about us.

Church is not about building our kingdom with our friends. It sounds obvious, but is it how we react when things go badly? Is it manifested in our priorities in such a way that we live in a tension between our individual surrender to God's Spirit and our devoted participation in His body?

The temptation is great to work toward building a happy kingdom with my friends. But the bottom line is that my friends aren't always around and they often have very little to do with who God is asking me to do to build His kingdom.

Friends move away; God is always with us.

Friends disappoint us; God is always faithful.

Friends are sinners; God is holy and just.

This personal epiphany has opened my eyes to a new perspective and I'm hoping God will continue to show me how He wants to use me to build His eternal kingdom. I'd love company if you're in....

Towels

Living in the Northwest, I often find that my bathroom towel never completely dries between showers. It may be partially because of our climate: damp, cool, and dreary most of the winter. It may also be partially because my towel hangs on a hook, whereas my husband's towel hangs fully stretched out on a bar of the shower door. (I know. The lack of symmetry in the design of our bathroom is a topic for another day.)

So, not surprisingly, it got me to thinking about things as I looked at the towels in our bathroom. There's something attractive about the idea of being completely stretched out and available to perform at optimum potential. If a towel is not fully dry, how can it do its job? And a towel perpetually folded upon itself doesn't dry properly and it starts to smell after a while. Moldy, moist, and not what you want to wrap around your dripping body after a shower.

I want to be like a towel that's stretched out and ready to perform. One that has the service of other people as a priority. I want to have everything unattractive in me taken out and whisked away into the atmosphere so I can be fresh and available.

A towel on a hook - a life that's imploding in self-absorption - not only has limited usefulness, but after a while, starts to smell. I don't want a life that's only worried about MY boundaries that have been crossed. MY desires met. MY feelings hurt.

If God is like a dry breeze that lifts the mold and mildew of my life so I can selflessly serve others, let the wind blow! Let me have a virtual heated towel rack in my bathroom of life! I catch of whiff of my selfishness from time to time and I want to toss the towel in the laundry basket and start with the fresh scent of Downy again. And I can with Jesus!

That's what redemption is all about.

A fresh start.

A do-over.

No more moldy odors or damp cotton to do a half-assed job. I want to be stretched out and ready to serve. Fresh and clean. Nothing to hide in the mildewy folds of my introspection.

Let the cleansing wind of the Holy Spirit blow into the towel racks of my life, Lord! I want to smell Downy fresh!

Confidence

“‘This is what the great king, the king of Assyria, says: On what are you basing this confidence of yours?'" (2 Kings 18:19)

This is a question I've been pondering a lot over the past year or so. On what am I basing this confidence of mine?

If it was on my looks, then middle-age is taking care of changing that.

If it's on my smarts, well, God Himself took that off the table by endowing me with only slightly above average intellect.

On doing the right thing? Good luck to those around me. I score 0 on the scales of compassion and service.

How about my accomplishments? Again, not much to brag about.

It would be pretty easy to look at me and say, "On what are you basing this confidence of yours?"

But what if, like Hezekiah, I'm basing my confidence on God's promises? What if I believed what God said is true regardless of what anyone else says about me or my chances of success in this world?

Because God says I'm loved.

I'm redeemed and forgiven.

And I was chosen to be adopted into His family.

And that He's got my back and is preparing a place for me to spend eternity with Him.

So in spite of my lack of credentials or achievements, in the face of colossal mistakes and epic fails, I am pretty confident. Not in me, of course, but in the God who chose me, loves me, and calls me to live for Him.

Naaman

"Go wash yourself seven times in the Jordan and your flesh will be restored and you will be cleansed."

But Naaman went away angry and said, "I thought he would surely come out to me and stand and call on the name of the LORD his God, wave his hand over the spot and cure me of my leprosy." (2 Kings 5:10-11)

Am I missing out on something God wants to do in my life because I'm too focused on the expectations I've built up? Is my focus on the wrong thing so I don't see God's activity in my life? Do I want drama more than His Presence? And can I even clearly identify my need?

My expectations?

My hope?

Am I, like Naaman, expecting God to do something big in my life while I wait, idly, and simply complain?

That's not what I want, Lord! I want to respond by doing whatever you require of me; just show me what it is! Oh, that it would be as clear as it was for Naaman. But then, would I balk like he did? Probably.

As is true so often in Scripture - and in life - there is a tension that exists between what only God can do and what He asks me to do. How could I possible get those confused?

But I do.

Would you give me eyes to see the difference, Lord. And strength to act or submit, accordingly.

Work and Play

I just got home from Paris.

Don't feel too badly for me. It wasn't as bad as it sounds.

We had good food, walked for miles, ate crêpes in the Tuileries Gardens, and took a fascinating tour of the Veuve Clicquot champagne cellars. All in all, a pretty rocking week.

But have you discovered that no matter how glorious the vacation, how amazing the scenery, and how fascinating the experience, once you know it's time to get home, you just can't wait?

What is that?

I have a theory.

It's time to be productive. It's how we were designed.

Take a look at this verse from the creation account:

"The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it." (Genesis 2:15)

And this one from a wise, wise king:

"Then I realized that is it good and proper for a man to eat and drink, and to find satisfaction in his toilsome labor under the sun during the few days of life God has given him - for this is his lot." (Ecclesiastes 5:18)

We were meant to live in a balance of work and pleasure. Labor and laughter. Toil and tranquility.

And often we don't realize we lack one because we're so imbalanced in the other.

I've recently taken on some tutoring responsibilities, getting my feet back into the world of education, and it wasn't until my days were filled with meaningful activities that I realized how much time I had been wasting! There is great satisfaction in doing a job and doing it well.

We were created with a rhythm and a tension. It's the concept behind God's emphasis over and over again on the Sabbath. Work your tails off for 6 days, then take a break, for crying out loud! A real break that changes pace, focus and priority. Then go back to what you were doing with God at the center of it.

Recalibration is good because it realigns our purposes and priorities. And in my opinion, there are fewer places better to do that than in Paris with a few girlfriends.

But now it's time to be productive again. Bring it on, Lord!

Scavenger Hunt

My son's youth group did a scavenger hunt yesterday at church.

I didn't ask him the kinds of things they were supposed to look for but I have been thinking about my own hunt, as I scavenge (is that even a word?) through life looking for purpose. Looking for God's glory. For comfort. Love. Beauty.

Is there holiness in raising my face to the sun and letting it dry the tears that stream down my face, escaping my tightly squeezed eyelids?

Is there holiness in sitting at my desk, reaching for the words to describe God's truth, and being distracted by a huge spider that meanders, uninvited, along the baseboard, among electrical cords?

Is God's glory in snoring spouses?

Is there something divine in stitches from surgery and post-op meds that are instantly bitter on the tongue but stave off infection in the body?

My theology is challenged in the dichotomy of the divine and the mundane.

Yes, God is present in all of it. He made the sun's warmth. The unwelcome arachnid is His creation, too. (Ew!) He's in the nearness of noisy breathing. In the healing process. In my triumphs and in my epic fails.

He is everywhere and in everything.

And He wants to be found. To be seen. To be embraced and sought after.

This is my scavenger hunt list:

One thing I ask of the LORD,
this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to seek him in his temple. (Psalm 27:4)

Reveal yourself to me, Lord. Show me your beauty and your glory in everything today. Amen.

Morning Stillness

I sit and listen to the rhythmic whoosh of a sprinkler,

To the now-audible hmmmm of the refrigerator.

I gaze at still branches awaiting a scrambling critter or gentle breeze to stir,

And sip warm coffee, the color of summer skin.

I inhale deeply, peacefully, slowly.

Sigh.

Loved ones still sleep, unseen, unheard.

But I am fully, blissfully awake, embracing the potential of a new day.

Anticipation. Longing. Contentment.

All intermingled as I pause before the light is so bright.

And the noise is so loud.

While God is still near and I am fully present.

Poised, with open arms and heart.

Whoosh.

Sigh.

Come, Lord Jesus.