Navigating Emotions

Are your emotions a distraction or a destination?

Do you find yourself not knowing what to do with emotions that overwhelm you without invitation or obvious provocation? Do you find yourself saying, "I don’t understand why I'm so mad for no apparent reason." Or, "Why am I feeling sad today?" Maybe it's hard to articulate what emotion you're feeling. If this is you, it may feel as if you're bobbing around in the stormy sea of emotions with no way to navigate or anchor yourself to find the truth of your situation because your emotions have you gasping for breath and trying to just stay functional amid the waves.

On the flip side, you may be so focused on an emotion or some sort of sensation as an end in itself that life seems pointless unless you are engulfed in some emotion or another. And it's not limited to just emotions, either. You may be driven by adrenaline, or drama in relationships, or a desperate need for attention, or the pleasure of buying something new, or having a massage, or reading a gripping romance novel. Feeling something is better than feeling nothing at all so the sensation becomes the goal. Or feeling something good that you can control is preferable to feeling something bad that you don’t want to deal with.

Here's an example of what life can look like when our take over:

Hope is Emo

So whether your feelings tend to be a distraction from the goals and purposes God has for you or if chasing some sort of emotion is a destination in and of itself, the Bible has something to say about how to navigate them and get God's perspective.

In 1 Kings 18, the prophet Elijah challenges the prophets of Baal to a spiritual showdown on Mount Carmel. He gathers all the people of Israel, the 450 prophets of Baal and 400 prophets of Asherah (cults of the time) and the challenge is laid out: Place a bull on a wood altar as an offering to each God and see which god answers by fire. Both altars and sacrifices are prepared and the prophets of Baal scream and dance and cut themselves all day long to no avail. Baal is conspicuously absent. Then Elijah has the men douse his offering and altar with water and Bam! The God of Israel ocnsumes the offering, the wood and all the water! The Elijah seizes and kills the prophets of Baal and runs for his life since Jezebel, the queen of Israel, wants to kill him.

In 1 Kings 19 we find a prophet who is worn out and depressed.

Now Ahab told Jezebel everything Elijah had done and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. So Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah to say, “May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely, if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them.”

Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, while he himself went a day’s journey into the desert. He came to a broom tree, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, LORD,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.” Then he lay down under the tree and fell asleep.

All at once an angel touched him and said, “Get up and eat.” He looked around, and there by his head was a cake of bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again.

The angel of the LORD came back a second time and touched him and said, “Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you.” So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God. ⁹ There he went into a cave and spent the night.

And the word of the LORD came to him: “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

He replied, “I have been very zealous for the LORD God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.”

The LORD said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by.”

Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.

Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

He replied, “I have been very zealous for the LORD God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.”

The LORD said to him, “Go back the way you came, and go to the Desert of Damascus. When you get there, anoint Hazael king over Aram. Also, anoint Jehu son of Nimshi king over Israel, and anoint Elisha son of Shaphat from Abel Meholah to succeed you as prophet. Jehu will put to death any who escape the sword of Hazael, and Elisha will put to death any who escape the sword of Jehu. Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel—all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and all whose mouths have not kissed him.” (1 Kings 19:1-18)

What we see here is an example of depression brought on by circumstances, and the way Elijah and God work this out can teach us something about what I believe God wants us to know about our emotions and circumstances.

1. Never underestimate spiritual and physical aspects of your situation. Elijah had just been used by God in a mighty and dramatic way. And after the false prophets had been killed, 1 kings 18:46 says, “the power of the LORD came upon Elijah and, tucking his cloak into his belt, he ran ahead of Ahab all the way to Jezreel.” Mt. Carmel is a 1500 ft. plateau in the desert and Jezreel was a good 20 miles away. Then, when he heard Jezebel was after him he ran for his life another 100 miles. The power of the Lord was on him AND he was exhausted. Whether or not we’re proactively caring for ourselves spiritually, physically and emotionally, sometimes we get tired from living life. That’s when we need to be especially aware of our emotions. Look at how Elijah wants to deal with what he’s feeling in verse 4: he prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, LORD,” he said. “Take my life.” I’m so tired I could die. I’m sad. I’m overwhelmed. I’m being chased and I’m scared. We can do the same thing. Is this overwhelming emotion in response to lack of sleep? Bad nutrition? Not enough exercise? If we don’t care for the temple of the Holy Spirit, there will be consequences and some of them are emotional. For Elijah, it was the Lord who responded by addressing these physical needs before anything deeper. This leads us to our second observation...

2. We must go to God with our feelings. Elijah did and that’s key. I don’t know what’s going on here, Lord, but I’m done. I can’t process all this, I’m in despair, nothing makes sense, I’m feeling something but I don’t know what. Help. In addition to Elijah’s situation, the psalms are full of emotional pleas like this. Tears flood my bed at night. My heart is in anguish. Oh, how I rejoice in you! The spectrum of emotions is written in psalms. God is the author of our emotions and getting His perspective is crucial to dealing with them. And He is the only one in our lives who will completely understand us and never tire of us coming to Him and sharing our feelings. Once we go to God, we can expect Him to respond. Then we need to...

3. Listen to truth. Let’s compare Elijah’s take on his situation to God’s. In verses 13-18 Elijah is sure he’s the only one left who’s faithful to God so he’s feeling lonely and overwhelmed. A little righteous indignation, maybe. Frustration, I bet. Fear, for sure, knowing Jezebel is after him. And based on HIS perspective that’s understandable. Even after he’s rested and had food and water. But then God shows him what’s REALLY true and it allows Elijah to not only cope with his situation and emotions, but he goes on to anoint his protégé so they can both continue God’s work in Israel. How many times did I say to my mom as a kid, “nobody likes me”. If that was true I had every reason to cry. But the truth was that I had probably just made somebody mad by bossing them around and they didn’t want to play anymore! That’s a lot different than complete rejection by every kid in the neighborhood.

So we need to take into account our physical circumstances – not as an excuse, but as explanation – go to God with our feelings – honestly and as raw as that may be – and we need to listen to what’s true instead of continuing to believe whatever lie is taking root in our minds concerning our emotions. Accurately assessing our emotions and taking them to God is crucial in making them obedient to us and not the other way around.

Here’s a very handy verse for aligning ourselves to God’s perspective so our emotions are where they should be:

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” (2 Cor. 10:5)

We must know and choose to believe the truth about who we are and who God is if we hope to live with emotions, but not controlled by them.

Jesus said, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6) And He also said that if you know the truth, the truth will set you free. Knowing Jesus is the only way to be free from anything else that threatens to control us in life, including the weight and power of our emotions. We can try and try to be better people, but the bottom line is that we all fall short and only Jesus makes a way for us to stand before God and receive what we need to have full lives. A relationship with Jesus is the beginning, middle and end of our lives. As God, He is the author of our emotions and as a human, He can sympathize fully with them.

So… we stay on track, navigating our emotions by sticking close to Jesus and knowing the truth of who He is and who we are. In addition, Jesus gave us the Holy Spirit to remind us of truth so we can navigate life. In John 14 and 16 Jesus spends time telling us what the Holy Spirit’s job is and part of that is to tell us truth. So when we feel overwhelmed by emotions or we see the negative consequences of letting our emotions dictate our behavior, the Holy Spirit will remind us of the truth of our circumstances.

Elijah looked at his circumstances and God dealt with them physically, but Elijah also poured his heart out to God and God responded with real truth. That can happen for us too. It’s not a formula to make sure we don’t have emotions; it's a GPS to find our way to true north – God’s Presence – and navigate around emotions so we don’t get off track from what God is calling us to. What’s this GPS? An acronym, you say? Why, yes, thank you. I happen to have one.

What if the way to navigate our out of control emotions could be guided by this principle?

God’s

Perspective is

Sovereign

In everything – not just our emotions – having God’s perspective by knowing His Son Jesus and the truth of Scripture and our circumstances as revealed by the Holy Spirit will guide us to a place in life where our emotions hold their proper place. We will be able to feel things without living in a constant state of being overwhelmed, and we can deal with our sadness, doubts, boredom and fear by going to the One who made us and who never gets tired of listening to us process what life throws at us. Since God’s Perspective is Sovereign, and so is He, we can trust Him to tell us the truth of our situation and to lead us toward emotional health.

God is the author of our feelings and He wants us to feel them; He just doesn’t want them to control us – that’s what HE wants to do. He made us in His image, which includes emotions so it’s part of our identity, but only a part.

Vincent Van Gogh once said, “Let's not forget that the little emotions are the great captains of our lives and we obey them without realizing it.”

And this from a Swedish man named Jonatan Mårtensson: “Feelings are much like waves, we can't stop them from coming but we can choose which one to surf.”

Battling Sloth

Many of us have heard lessons on the story of Mary and Martha when Jesus comes to dine at their house, and most people I know relate to Martha. She's the busy one. The one who resented her sister sitting at Jesus' feet and listening, nobly, to His teaching while she slaved over a meal for guests. "Martha, Martha", the Lord chides her affectionately. "Get over it," He seems to say. Not really, but you know. Martha's busy, but Mary is with Jesus. Being with Jesus is what matters, so don't get your knickers in a twist about the dirty dishes.

I don't get it.

I've never been a Martha. Never wanted to be. I've never been accused of being too busy or avoiding social settings by bussing tables or doing dishes. Nope. I want to sit down, be comfortable, eating and drinking and making merry, thank you very much. I used to think that I, like Mary, had chosen the one important thing: sitting. But, you see, that wasn't Jesus' point at all.

I've come to realize recently that I've been using my pride to disguise my sloth as "mary-ness". I've spent considerable time thinking that I'm rather spiritual in my pursuits and that I should let the less erudite among us take up the serving slack while I illuminate Scripture and enlighten the masses. Could you refill my coffee, please, while you're at it?

Nice.

But you know what God has shown me?

Laziness is a sin.

My laziness comes from a deep-seated selfishness and a potent priority for my own comfort. Not from a desire for fellowship and a hunger for God's truth to be revealed. It is counterintuitive to my nature to serve others. And there's nothing in that to take pride in, believe me.

But there is hope for me, my friends.

This past weekend I visited my brother-in-law and sister-in-law. My husband's parents were there, as well. Over the course of the past several weeks, I've been repeating a mantra to myself that I continued on the other side of the country: "Don't be lazy. Don't be lazy." Like a highly hormonal teenager fights lust, or the way an alcoholic fights the temptation to drink, I've been leaning into God for the strength to not give into my slothful tendencies so He can develop mature character in me.

This weekend He revealed plenty of opportunities for me to serve. And He revealed lots of times I was tempted to make a decision based on what was best for me. It felt like a sort of tug-of-war inside me. But what I discovered when I was honest about my desires and confessed my selfishness over and over was that His Spirit prompted me to do the dishes. Or hold the baby. Or unload groceries. Or pour a glass of milk. Or make some coffee. Gestures that never would have occurred to me on my own were revealed as an opportunity to trust God to make me into the kind of woman He wants me to be. And most exciting of all - there was joy and satisfaction in it!

So while I was dismayed by the realization that I am, in fact, slothful and selfish by nature, I also realized that God loves me anyway and wants to change me. Thanks be to God! I can't do that myself. If left to my own devices, I will always choose my own comfort and ease. My comfort is my idol. And God wants to change that. As discouraging as it is initially to name my sin and see it for what it is, it's equally encouraging to see God working in me, through the transforming power of the Holy Spirit, to eradicate my old nature and replace it with His.

And I want to change. I want it desperately. So I will choose to serve others and walk into the life He has for me by obedience. And I will trust Him to do what only He can do in my life to make me into the person He created me to be when He knit me together in my mother's womb. And when I fail, I will call it what it is. Sloth. Selfishness. Pride. And I will be reminded that it is only by God's grace that I can call Him Abba, Father. I'm not such a great prize, but He is. And He has redeemed even my most despicable moments and moods for His glory.

Wrath and Grace

I’ve been thinking about God’s character in new ways lately as I try to navigate the symbolic waters of Ezekiel with the Holy Spirit’s help. It’s slow going, but I’m seeing things from a completely different perspective this time around.

Ezekiel was called to tell the exiles that things were about to go from bad to worse in their lives. The first two waves of captives were not going home anytime soon, and destruction was imminent for the city of Jerusalem, the crowning jewel and capital of the Jewish nation of Judah.

Ezekiel wasn’t the only one to receive this message to pass along from God, but his visions and prophetic utterances were particularly harsh and vivid. Take a look at one example:

²⁸ "And you, son of man, prophesy and say, 'This is what the Sovereign LORD says about the Ammonites and their insults:

" 'A sword, a sword,

drawn for the slaughter,

polished to consume

and to flash like lightning!

²⁹ Despite false visions concerning you

and lying divinations about you,

it will be laid on the necks

of the wicked who are to be slain,

whose day has come,

whose time of punishment has reached its climax.

³⁰ Return the sword to its scabbard.

In the place where you were created,

in the land of your ancestry, ?

I will judge you.

³¹ I will pour out my wrath upon you

and breathe out my fiery anger against you;

I will hand you over to brutal men,

men skilled in destruction.

³² You will be fuel for the fire,

your blood will be shed in your land,

you will be remembered no more;

for I the LORD have spoken.' " (Ezekiel 21:28-32)

Swords drawn for slaughter. Blood being shed. Brutal men skilled in destruction. Doesn’t it sound more like Rambo should make an appearance? Yet God states over and over again, “I the LORD have spoken”. This is the Bible, not Hollywood.

So how do we reconcile these images with the gentle and humble character of Jesus? Has one aspect of God’s character given way to its antithesis? Was God’s wrath all spent on Jesus when He died on the cross so that it no longer exists?

While it is true that Jesus absorbed the just wrath of God and paid the punishment that our sins deserved, God’s wrath did not disappear. He has not changed.

Lest we think that the wrath of God is only a theme in the Old Testament, take a look at how the apostle Paul begins his letter to the Roman Christians, as he introduces his themes and logic around the gospel:

“The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness, since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them.” (Romans 1:18-19)

John MacArthur Jr. describes this New Testament wrath by saying,

The gospel message begins with a statement about the wrath of God. Frankly that’s diametrically opposed to most of our evangelistic technique. Most of our contemporary evangelism purposely avoids that theme. We talk about love and we talk about happiness and we talk about abundant living and we talk about forgiveness and we talk about joy, we talk about peace. And we offer people all of those things and ask them if they wouldn’t like to have all of those things. But we really very rarely talk about judgment.¹

Because God is still perfectly holy, sin invokes His anger. His holy character demands that response. But because He is also loving and merciful, He provided Jesus as the propitiation for our sin; He satisfied completely the need for justice and appeased the wrath of a holy God toward His creation.

Jesus showed us the perfect manifestation of God’s love. God’s wrath doesn’t diminish the truth of Jesus’ invitation to those who are hurting or tired in Matthew 11:28-30 – “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” In the same way that a child can be afraid of a parent’s anger in disobedience while still longing for compassion and affection when hurt, we can recognize God’s abhorrence of sin while running to Him in times of trouble for comfort.

And understanding God’s wrath is crucial to fully grasping the full impact of His grace and love. As a diamond sparkles more brightly on black velvet, so God’s grace toward us is highlighted when we understand the magnitude of wrath that has passed over us because of Jesus. The Hebrews in Egypt put the blood of the lamb over their doors so God’s angel of death would spare them. We, too, have the blood of the lamb to turn away the punishment of death for our own sin.

To be clear, God’s wrath toward sin is not parental disappointment at our imperfection. Make no mistake: Jesus’ death and resurrection were completely sufficient to pay the penalty for our sin. We are not responsible for our own forgiveness or for washing away our own mistakes so we can be cleaned up before our Father in Heaven. We are only forgiven because of Jesus’ perfect sacrifice.

We are called, however, to participate fully and passionately in the sanctification process – that lifelong endeavor to live a life worthy of the calling we have received. (Ephesians 4:1) Our responsibility is to make every effort to examine our hearts for displeasing roots of sin (Galatians 6:4) and to proactively pursue character qualities that will bring us closer in line with God’s image (2 Peter 1:5-9). His Spirit does the work; we place ourselves in a position to be changed.

So where is God’s wrath these days? Why don’t we see cities engulfed in burning sulfur or massive plagues wiping out entire populations? Do we still need to live in fear of God’s judgment each day?

What if we’re living under a sort of stay of execution? A temporary reprieve from the full outpouring of God’s wrath, if you will. There is some evidence for this:

⁸But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. ⁹The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

¹⁰But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything in it will be laid bare.

¹¹ Since everything will be destroyed in this way, what kind of people ought you to be? You ought to live holy and godly lives ¹²as you look forward to the day of God and speed its coming. That day will bring about the destruction of the heavens by fire, and the elements will melt in the heat. ¹³But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, the home of righteousness.

¹⁴So then, dear friends, since you are looking forward to this, make every effort to be found spotless, blameless and at peace with him. ¹⁵Bear in mind that our Lord's patience means salvation, just as our dear brother Paul also wrote you with the wisdom that God gave him. (2 Peter 3:8-15)

What if God’s wrath is being stored up for a future time when the enemies of God will feel its full force? What if by waiting to pour out the intensity of His anger over the sin of the generations He is buying us time to repent and come to understand Him more fully? Not only do we understand His love and grace more completely by juxtaposing them against His judgment and hate, but we also can grasp with a new understanding the depth of His love that enables Him to hold back such wrath. I can only fall on my face and worship in gratitude the God who holds back such power to destroy out of some unfathomable love for me.

Is it possible that we are living in some kind of a “peace and mercy sandwich” in God’s celestial timing? Wrath of the Old Testament as one piece of bread. Wrath of the coming age as the other. And we are enjoying the middle season of peace and grace. It may be a cheesy image, but I kind of like it.

For we know that God’s wrath will make an appearance once more. Look at the image given to the apostle Jo

hn in the book of Revelation:

³When the Lamb opened the second seal, I heard the second living creature say, "Come!" ⁴Then another horse came out, a fiery red one. Its rider was given power to take peace from the earth and to make men slay each other. To him was given a large sword…

⁷When the Lamb opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth living creature say, "Come!" ⁸I looked, and there before me was a pale horse! Its rider was named Death, and Hades was following close behind him. They were given power over a fourth of the earth to kill by sword, famine and plague, and by the wild beasts of the earth.

⁹When he opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of those who had been slain because of the word of God and the testimony they had maintained. ¹⁰They called out in a loud voice, "How long, Sovereign Lord, holy and true, until you judge the inhabitants of the earth and avenge our blood?" ¹¹Then each of them was given a white robe, and they were told to wait a little longer, until the number of their fellow servants and brothers who were to be killed as they had been was completed.

¹²I watched as he opened the sixth seal. There was a great earthquake. The sun turned black like sackcloth made of goat hair, the whole moon turned blood red, ¹³and the stars in the sky fell to earth, as late figs drop from a fig tree when shaken by a strong wind. ¹⁴The sky receded like a scroll, rolling up, and every mountain and island was removed from its place.

¹⁵Then the kings of the earth, the princes, the generals, the rich, the mighty, and every slave and every free man hid in caves and among the rocks of the mountains. ¹⁶They called to the mountains and the rocks, "Fall on us and hide us from the face of him who sits on the throne and from the wrath of the Lamb! ¹⁷For the great day of their wrath has come, and who can stand?" (Revelation 6:3-4; 7-17)

The day of their wrath has come, and who can stand? When Jesus returns there will be famine and plague and destruction, like there was in the days of Ezekiel. Is it because God will have discovered new wrath? Will something in the interim have stirred Him up once again to need to pour out vengeance as He once did? No, His anger at injustice is perfectly consistent. It never left. But Jesus stands as our intermediary, absorbing the wrath on our behalf.

So what does all this have to do with us, as we pursue understanding of God’s character and His will? Is there a personal application in here at all?

The point in revealing aspects of God’s character from the Old and New Testaments is not to instill fear of God’s anger in us. The point is to see that God’s inherent nature does not change.

He may choose to respond differently in various seasons of His plan, but His character is the same for all eternity. Perfect love. Perfect wrath. Perfect holiness. Perfect compassion.

We can rely fully on the conviction of the Holy Spirit to reveal sin in our lives that must be addressed. And we can rely fully on the power of the Holy Spirit to cultivate in us a character that pleases God. And we must rely fully on the perfect sacrifice of Jesus, the Lamb of God, on the cross to open the way for us to have relationship with our Father. We’re not capable of that on our own. Nor are we capable of cleaning up our acts and making God love us more. Fear of God’s wrath is not motivation for behavior modification in the Christian.

Understanding God’s character is, however, motivation for a more in-depth understanding of the God we serve and for heartfelt worship and obedience because He is who He is. Look at what the writer of Hebrews told readers:

²⁵See to it that you do not refuse him who speaks. If they did not escape when they refused him who warned them on earth, how much less will we, if we turn away from him who warns us from heaven? ²⁶At that time his voice shook the earth, but now he has promised, "Once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens." ²⁷The words "once more" indicate the removing of what can be shaken—that is, created things—so that what cannot be shaken may remain.

²⁸Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, ²⁹for our "God is a consuming fire." (Hebrews 12:25-29)

A more complete understanding of who God is – in the Old Testament and in the New Testament, through Jesus – is essential to living the Christian life. Both the appreciation of what we’re spared by God’s grace and the urgency of sharing the love of the gospel with those who don’t know God lead us to press more deeply into God, depending on His power and love to change lives, including our own. It is the ultimate in paradoxes to know, love and serve a God who has the power to shake mountains and destroy entire nations while still possessing the capacity to love beyond comprehension and save those who are unworthy.

The ultimate goal in understanding the full range of God’s attributes is stated best in the words of Isaiah:

"Remember the former things, those of long ago; I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me" (Isaiah 46:9).

The more we understand about the God who saved us, the more motivated we are to worship Him. That is the ambition of the Christian’s life. To glorify God, and to enjoy him forever, as the Westminster Catechism describes. That includes all aspects of God’s character.

¹ http://www.biblebb.com/files/mac/45-9.htm