Stimulus and Response

You may be familiar with the terms “stimulus and response” from science or psychology classes you’ve taken over the years. Pavlov and his slobbering dogs, fight or flight reactions, and foot in mouth syndrome are all examples of instinctual and learned behaviors by organisms (animals and people) in reaction to some stimulus, or change in their environment. Sometimes the reactions are appropriate and the response fits perfectly with the stimulus. Other times (I’m thinking of how many times I didn’t stop to think about what I was going to say in the heat of the moment and stuck my foot in my mouth) the response time needs an extension for the environment of the organisms involved to improve.

Nehemiah gives us a beautiful picture of prolonging that precious time between stimulus and response to allow God to enter into our circumstances and interject His perfect perspective before we respond. We’re going to walk through a bigger chunk of Scripture for this lesson so we don’t miss the progression of Nehemiah’s situation. Here’s the setup:

¹ The words of Nehemiah son of Hacaliah:

In the month of Kislev in the twentieth year, while I was in the citadel of Susa, ²Hanani, one of my brothers, came from Judah with some other men, and I questioned them about the Jewish remnant that survived the exile, and also about Jerusalem.

³ They said to me, "Those who survived the exile and are back in the province are in great trouble and disgrace. The wall of Jerusalem is broken down, and its gates have been burned with fire."

⁴ When I heard these things, I sat down and wept. For some days I mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven. (Nehemiah 1:1-4)

Some historical context may be in order. A this point the exile that many Old Testament prophets had spoken of has happened and Nehemiah is in Susa, one of the Persian cities where the king, Artaxerxes, has a palace. Nehemiah is Jewish, and in the service of the Persian king. Some Jews had already begun to return to Jerusalem to rebuild the temple under the direction of Ezra around 538 B.C. Hanani, another Jew who had been to Jerusalem to know what condition it was in, gave a pretty discouraging report to Nehemiah concerning the state of the city walls and its inhabitants. And despite the fact that Nehemiah must have been in a foreign land in exile for some time at this point, he still has an emotional connection to the capital city of his faith, as is evidenced by his emotional reaction to the news Hanani brings. So far, fairly relatable, wouldn’t you say? Nehemiah gets bad news and cries over it. In fact the sadness and heaviness of what he’s heard lingers for days. That’s happened to me before. You? So what does Nehemiah do next?

⁵ Then I said:

"O LORD, God of heaven, the great and awesome God, who keeps his covenant of love with those who love him and obey his commands, ⁶ let your ear be attentive and your eyes open to hear the prayer your servant is praying before you day and night for your servants, the people of Israel. I confess the sins we Israelites, including myself and my father's house, have committed against you. ⁷ We have acted very wickedly toward you. We have not obeyed the commands, decrees and laws you gave your servant Moses.

⁸ "Remember the instruction you gave your servant Moses, saying, 'If you are unfaithful, I will scatter you among the nations, ⁹ but if you return to me and obey my commands, then even if your exiled people are at the farthest horizon, I will gather them from there and bring them to the place I have chosen as a dwelling for my Name.'

¹⁰ "They are your servants and your people, whom you redeemed by your great strength and your mighty hand. ¹¹ O Lord, let your ear be attentive to the prayer of this your servant and to the prayer of your servants who delight in revering your name. Give your servant success today by granting him favor in the presence of this man." I was cupbearer to the king. (Nehemiah 1:5-11)

Nehemiah cries, then he prays. Ever done that? Me, too. How he prays is worth looking at, but we’ll save that for another time. Look at how Nehemiah interacts with the king now that he’s all prayed up for his confrontation:

2 ¹ In the month of Nisan in the twentieth year of King Artaxerxes, when wine was brought for him, I took the wine and gave it to the king. I had not been sad in his presence before; ² so the king asked me, "Why does your face look so sad when you are not ill? This can be nothing but sadness of heart."

I was very much afraid, ³ but I said to the king, "May the king live forever! Why should my face not look sad when the city where my fathers are buried lies in ruins, and its gates have been destroyed by fire?" (Nehemiah 2:1-3)

Artaxerxes must be Persian for “reads people well”. Or could it be that he was particularly observant because God was answering Nehemiah’s prayer about granting him favor in the king’s presence? Regardless of the reason, Nehemiah is emboldened to respond transparently to the king, undoubtedly encouraged by his time in God’s Presence before the conversation began. But here’s the slow motion stimulus-response scenario that puts me to shame:

⁴ The king said to me, "What is it you want?" Then I prayed to the God of heaven, ⁵ and I answered the king, "If it pleases the king and if your servant has found favor in his sight, let him send me to the city in Judah where my fathers are buried so that I can rebuild it." (Nehemiah 2:4-5)

The king asks a crucial question. “What do you want?” And before Nehemiah blurts out a plan he may have even felt quite certain that God had put in his heart, aware of the inherent risk of being turned down, he goes back to God, mid-conversation, before responding. Take a moment to drink in this wisdom from the king’s cupbearer: Then I prayed to the God of heaven, and I answered. How frequently does that occur in your emotionally charged conversations with people? I can tell you that it’s not nearly often enough in mine. But I’m challenged to try it when I see how it worked out for Nehemiah. Take a look:

⁶ Then the king, with the queen sitting beside him, asked me, "How long will your journey take, and when will you get back?" It pleased the king to send me; so I set a time.

Success! Now, I need to tell you that the rest of the book of Nehemiah doesn’t exactly depict an effortless endeavor without opposition. However, it does give a dramatic picture of a leader determined to follow through on the plan God has allowed him to put into place, in spite of the opposition, because his life’s pattern is one that consults God frequently, even if it means stopping to re-evaluate in the midst of a conversation.

How much of what Nehemiah models is present in your interactions with people?

• Process: Nehemiah pauses to acknowledge and process very real emotions as a reaction to his sad news. He takes the time necessary to identify his sadness and grieve over the circumstances.

• Praise: Going to God immediately with an honest heart was significant to the events that followed for Nehemiah. It is no different with us. After a time of wallowing, we do well to get some perspective from God by giving Him glory for who He is. When we are reminded of His power, His sovereignty and His love for us, our emotions become aligned with the truth of our situation as He sees it.

• Proceed: Once Nehemiah heard from God and was certain of His plan, he had courage to propose the idea to the king. Ready for action once he had clarified his priorities and connected with God, Nehemiah has the courage to speak boldly to restore God’s city to its former glory. We were not given a spirit of timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline, the apostle Paul tells Timothy. (2 Timothy 1:7) With God’s blessing, we can be bold!

• Pause: the most important step of Nehemiah’s progression here is that he went back to God at every turn, relying on Him to navigate the potentially tricky conversation. There is almost always time to take a deep breath and say a quick prayer for the right words or instantaneous laryngitis. God will honor those prayers and help us keep our words full of grace and respect.

As human beings we are not obligated to live our lives solely by instinct. We can learn behaviors that stretch that time between our stimuli and our responses. And when we do, God can enter into our everyday lives to guide us and mold us into His image. And we’ll spend less time regretting hasty words or actions because God’s Spirit is prompting us along the way. Thanks be to God!

• Read Nehemiah 1:5-11. What elements do you notice in his prayer? How can you use that model to refresh your prayer life when communicating to God this week?

• What ways have you discovered to invite God into everyday situations that you face? In what areas might you need to discover some new ways?

• How natural is it for you to process and / or identify raw emotions with God in prayer when you are feeling intensely about a situation? How can Nehemiah’s example encourage you in that area? If you know someone who models this well, you may want to talk with her this week about how she does it.